The last couple of nights have been full of dreams. Just last night I had so many I lost count. This post is for documenting some of these dreams for future reference.
In one dream I was painting a picture of a person. I was filling in a drawing with a skin-like color for the person. I mixed the colors and made the skin darker than my own. I don’t know who I was painting but he/she was definitely tan compared to me. I was receiving instruction on painting and sitting at a round, white table. I remember getting up to toss out my paint water and I tossed it in a sink and the water splattered a bit. A woman advised me to ask permission first. She didn’t see the mess I had made and I felt bad that I had not asked before tossing my water. I went back to my table to paint and put my brush into the water to rinse it. The water turned a vivid yellow when it had been a murky brownish color. I remember thinking that it wouldn’t matter on the painting but then I saw the yellow and thought I had made a mistake.
I was in a stall that resembled a bathroom stall but it was very obviously a shower stall. My mother-in-law was in the adjacent stall and when I got into the shower she offered me a pretzel. After my shower, I took a pretzel shaped like a handgun from her.
I was in a very modern-like home – all white and clean. My sister was there and she was talking about getting a mammogram. My mom was in this conversation, too. My mom said she had found a lump in her breast and told the doctor who had not seen it. Turned out the lump was benign but the doctor made her go through all kinds up upset to find out the results. The advice was to trust my intuition and to not allow fear to rule my decisions/thoughts. My mom said had she not been afraid of what might have been she would have made the decision to not over analyze the mammogram screen and would never have told the doctor to begin with, saving herself lots of misery.
At the same house I sat down at a computer my sister had on her lap. It resembled a computer device for a child with bright colors and a bumper around the edge. The name of the user was an “Abd” word. In my mind I was thinking abacus, like for math. I remember thinking that it was a strange name and laughing about it. Now I wonder if it said, Abdicate.
There was a fuss over me in this dream, like there was a celebration or meeting or party specifically for me. I remember seeing people outside the window and knowing I was the reason they had come. I was standing in the room with a mother figure and looked up. I saw a white ceiling fan and where the light should have been was a large bird’s nest. A very tiny, black bird was flying around. It was so cute and I watched it as it seemed to practice flying. I then saw two other tiny birds and then the mother, who was a large, black bird with shiny feathers. I watched them, fascinated and pointed them out to the woman I was with. Then I saw the nest catch fire from underneath. Flames were licking the bottom of the fan and the birds were flying around oblivious to the fire. I thought about how the fire was why they were evacuating the nest. They had to learn to fly or they would be consumed.
I went outside to the party. I remember seeing white tables with people and a wooden porch that was elevated a bit off the ground. I walked up the steps and a group of people saw me and were waving, smiling and heckling me. This was when I realized I was inside a very large costume of some sort. It felt like I had a bubble around me and I could feel the over-sized hands of the suit. One man had laughed at me and I tried to flip him off but the fingers of the suit were so large that I had trouble controlling them. I was able to do it though and everyone, even me, got a good laugh out of it. I remember seeing my ex-father-in-law lounging in the corner with a beer. There was discussion about how well he had done for himself in his life (career-wise). Specifically about how he had managed to make a good living without ever having gone to college. There were several others who had done the same thing. There was mention of how it was time to rest for a job well done.
I remember mentioning the tiny black birds and describing them as baby chickens but with the wings of a bird and all black. Cute like that. I was fascinated still with the birds. They were seemingly immature yet able to fly perfectly. I referred to them as “swallows”.
I was in a store shopping for shorts. I stood at a rack with some other women looking for my size in a pair of fairly short blue jean shorts. I saw most of the rack were size 5 but I kept looking for size 6. I selected a pair but then saw another I liked and went to it. This pair was a longer, meant for hiking or some kind of outdoor sport because it was that breathable, loose material. I selected a size 6 right away but never put them on.
- Painting – I need to express my creative side more.
- Yellow – Fear or inability to make a decision.
- Shower – purification, renewal, cleansing.
- Pretzel – preoccupation with a particular issue and indecision on how to handle it. The fact that it is shaped like a gun suggests that I feel my indecision is harmful to me.
- Mammogram – doubting my own feminine power. Good advice is given here – trust my intuition.
- Computer – information.
- Abdicate – Still not sure on the “abd” word. If it is abdicate it means “surrender” or “let go”.
- Swallow – purity, renewal, never-ending joy and fresh beginnings.
- Fan – Refers to changes in life, suggestive of calming down after an emotional outpouring.
- Fire/burning nest – there is a situation that can no longer be avoided.
- Costume – not being completely honest with myself. Projecting an image to others that is not true of Self.
- Shorts – ready to reveal more about myself and be more open.
- Number 6 – relates to problem solving and the need for stability in all areas of life.