Before bed last night I asked to know what was in my future.
Dream: House Renovation
I had a very in-depth dream about renovating a house. It was not a familiar house but resembled an older Craftsman home. There had been an addition at one point of a bedroom that had been later renovated into a large, walk-in pantry or closet.
In the beginning of the dream, my computer ran out of battery. What is funny is that the computer is a desktop so no battery needed. It was plugged in alongside three other computers but this one, mine, was dead and needed to be recharged. I was upset about this but recall seeing the blue light turn on and using another computer instead of mine for the interim. The computer sat in a shallow pan of water while it charged, too. It was really strange. I had on a large headset and was plugged into one of the other computers. It reminded me of an information stream via music. I don’t recall hearing music but the feeling was that this was my “lifeline”.
Then my husband, who I never quite got a good look at, was inviting a neighbor into the house to help renovate the peeling plaster and other areas. The main focus was this closet. It had very tall ceilings and the top two feet had been plastered wrong and was coming off in chunks. It had also only been painted halfway and old, brown carpet covered a four foot by five foot section leaving the rest of the floor bare. The walls in the hall were also only partially painted with tape up as if someone had been interrupted while painting. The color of the hall was a vibrant blue.
Soon there were several neighbors coming inside to help. I was focused on my children and ignored them for the most part. I remember wearing my pajamas and not caring about my appearance. At one point I lay down in the bed and felt I needed to justify my actions to one of the neighbors by saying, “I’m tired.” There was quite a bit of movement and work being done on the house.
I went back into the closet and one of the neighbors was up in the corner removing plaster. He said someone had used the wrong sponge and it was all dried out. The room had been cleared of all objects and I remember thinking a shelf was going to be put that went along the top of the room. I began to tear up the carpet. There was this cable that was sticking out of the floor. It appeared to go down into the basement. I pulled on it and it seemed to want to come all the way out. I left it alone, though, as I was afraid it was connected to something important.
Then I was standing in the bathroom talking to a man who I assume was one of my guides. We were inspecting the walls and I told him, “I want all the plaster replaced with drywall. I hate the plaster and it will just peel and crumble.” The man asked me if this was a good idea especially since I would likely be moving in the next couple of years. I thought about it, as if his comment about the time period triggered a memory of something.
I began to gain lucidity at this point and the dream kind of blacks out. The last thing I recall is hearing a man say to me, “All I want to hear from you is that you love me.” This woke me up straight away. My heart was warm and there was a brief shot of energy to my root and up again. That’s when it occurred to me that this dream was in response to my question.
It appears that my future holds a lot of work on myself.
- Renovating – looking at life from a new perspective.
- Battery – since it is dead I am feeling emotionally exhausted.
- Computer – information.
- Closet – something in life I have kept hidden from myself and/or others.
- Plaster – there is a matter I am trying to resolve or settle. I wanted it gone and was fixated on it in the dream because it was peeling and crumbling.
- Drywall – a desire for privacy.
- Bathroom – purification and self-renewal.
- Carpet – self-protection and/or life foundation, the carpet is brown and old/worn. Brown indicates practicality, domestic bliss, material comfort.
- Paint – expression of inner emotions.
- Blue – truth, wisdom, heaven, devotion, tranquility, openness.
- Cable – stamina; since it is linked to something deeper then likely so is my stamina.
When I woke the feeling was that I want to reformat my life; renovate it but I don’t feel like I have the energy or information to do what needs to be done. There is a very strong apathetic feeling in regards to my life situation.
The last statement which woke me up triggered an entire inner dialogue about self-love. It also triggered a mind vs. heart conflict, one that has been on-going for some time. I asked my guides, “Why can’t things just be consistent?” The answer was that it would be if I would just stay in my heart. But what my heart tells me seems to trigger tons of negative self-talk. I was asked, “Don’t you deserve to be happy?” And this is when the self-love came into the conversation.
I was asked by my guidance, “If this was one of your children, what would you do?” Hahaha Well of course I would help them get what they wanted in any way I could. I want them to be happy.
It became very clear to me then that I was not treating myself the way I should. If I treated myself like I treat one of my children, if I loved myself the same as I love them, there would be no inner conflict. I would follow my heart and be done with it.
This brought up a whole string of beliefs for inspection. Beliefs about love. Beliefs about relationships. Beliefs about happiness. These are all born in the mind. The heart doesn’t have beliefs, it just has love and the potential to create love. After being overwhelmed by all my beliefs I was kinda wishing my brain would be wiped clean so that I could follow my heart without constant interference. Spiritual lobotomy? lol