For the past couple of days I have been crashing in the evening and sleeping pretty deeply to the point of barely being able to remember my dreams. The energy sensations are still present but they have decreased substantially. It is mostly my heart, third-eye and crown which continuously buzz but I only notice them when I settled down to meditate or have time alone (which is rare). For example, right now my heart is this massive expansion of warmth that wraps around from front to back. 🙂
Despite the decrease in Kundalini energy fluctuations I am still carrying around tons more energy than I use to. The energy of Earth is intense right now as well. The recent shooting in Nice, France confirms that others are feeling this even if they don’t realize it. I don’t follow the news, I avoid it like the plague. Despite this, I still sense these tragic events and it does affect me. I have been dealing with my familiar “avoidance of life” pattern since yesterday afternoon. This pattern is linked to multiple issues for me – depression, suicidal thoughts, irritability, melancholy, whining and complaining, and inability to handle stressful situations (outright avoidance or refusal to participate). So it is no wonder I am sleeping more and no wonder that I had multiple OBEs this morning.
OBE: Shatter Resistant Glass
I was awakened at 7am by my youngest banging on my bedroom door. I got up and was grumpy (sigh) and yelled at my husband to come get him. Then I went back to bed telling my Team, “I want to project.” I heard back, “What is your intent?” Hahahah I said, “To get OOB.” 🙂
It was not long before I heard noises-off indicating that I could exit my body. It was a conversation that was going on in the other room and I sensed that every light was on in the house. I could mentally see the entire scene outside my bedroom door. For some reason I had it in my mind that there was a party going on. With this there was a shift into another potential reality stream.
In this reality stream I chose to remain single and was with one of my ex-boyfriends. We were hanging out with friends, drinking, smoking pot, doing all the things we use to do together. Everyone was intoxicated and talking, laughing, having a good time. All of this I experienced in an instant, like a mini-dream. I remember thinking for a moment that I wish I had chosen that reality.
I had to tell myself to get out of my body. “Get up. You can go now.” lol But my body was really heavy and it took everything I had to peel myself out of it. I was able to get out and when I did, I went straight to the bedroom door and out of it as fast as I could.
The lights were all on as I had suspect but it was eerily quiet. I went to the stair and looked down them. The lights were on downstairs, too. It was brilliantly bright everywhere. Curious from my last OBE, I looked down at my arms and they were solid and normal looking. No jerky or shifty energy. Though I felt solid, the experience wasn’t quite as realistic as the last one. The scene I was in was very obviously constructed by me and the quality therefore was exceptionally dream-like.
Downstairs I saw my children watching T.V. but in the wrong part of the house. I turned toward the kitchen and saw tables and chairs everywhere. It actually looked like a bar room and not my kitchen. It was like I entered another building. There were beer bottles, wine glasses, cups, lamps, etc. The whole shebang. I assumed that the party had ended and I had missed it. So I picked up a wine glass and threw it as hard as I could toward a floor to ceiling window. It bounced off and I heard a strange hollow sound. Weird. So I tossed a beer mug at the window. Same thing happened. Nothing broke. Not the window or the glass. At that moment I thought I must be inside a giant bubble, a giant shatter resistant glass bubble. lol
I felt the familiar energy indicating I had returned to the vicinity of my physical body. The noises-off resumed. This time I heard a woman’s voice talking very business-like. I knew who it was, too. So I got up, peeling myself once again out of my heavy body, and went to investigate.
I found my husband’s boss sitting at our computer talking to someone on Skype. She continued to talk despite seeing me. I even said, “Hey Stacy!” She looked at me like, “Get away from me” and rolled the chair away. The closer I got to her, the more she inched herself away. She ended up squished in the crook of the desk, the whole time continuing her conversation.
Her energy was really odd, too. I remember thinking, “She’s me.” I had no doubt she was a projection and I recognized instantly the message: Avoidance. My mind was working overtime putting it all together, looking at the symbolism and trying to figure out how I could change the scene because I didn’t want to see it (avoidance). It wasn’t long before I was again back at my body.
OBE: I Want Out
Back in my body I felt the vibrations indicating I could exit and so I went out immediately. There was little heaviness this time but my energy was more flustered and flighty. My only intent was to get as far away from my body as I could.
Down the stairs I saw one of my children. What is strange is the he turned into a she and seemed to shrink from an 8 year old to a toddler to around a 9 month old baby. I followed her to the french doors while she was in the toddler stage. I tried to open the door but it was locked. I said to my guidance, “Come on! Why can’t I go out? Please, let me out.” When I tested the other doorknob, I put forth the intention that it would open. It opened and I said, “Thank you!”
I picked up my daughter and asked her, “Do you want to come outside with mommy?”
When I got outside it was still dark and I could see the stars and the trees swaying in the breeze. I didn’t feel a breeze, though. Looking around, I saw the neighbor’s fence and remembered that in other OBEs there was a pool on the other side. I went toward it saying to my daughter, “I think there is a pool over there. Let’s go look.”
Sure enough, I saw the pool just where I last remembered it (there is not on in real life). It was not lit up as usual but I could see a bundle of dead leaves on the bottom of it indicating the water was clear.
My intention at that time was to get in it, of course. So I began to climb over the fence. For some reason I felt restricted, though. It was like someone was pulling me back. My thoughts were, “I can’t” and “I won’t make it”. So I ended up stuck on the top of the fence and then pulled back into my body.
Back in my body the energy was a bit rough but my heart was beating normally and I did not feel unsettled. Much better reentry than last time. I was still grumpy and did not want to get out of bed. Unfortunately, my youngest was banging on the door again and this time I had to get up. It was 7:33am. So three projections in 33 minutes. Wow.
A part of a song kept repeating in my head for some time after waking. The song was Don’t Speak by No Doubt and the repetitive part was:
It’s all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are…..
The rest of the song was skipped. It was like those words were on repeat. Over and over. Enough to drive anyone nuts.
I’ve been hearing that particular part of that song for some time but ignoring it. I couldn’t figure out the meaning. What’s ending? It is a relationship like what the song is talking about? Or is it something else? And pretending = avoidance. Got that part. I know I’m avoiding.
At this point I am starting to think that the “ending” here is referring to a life path since that is what my guidance has been pushing and pushing me to acknowledge. The “who we are” part is likely trying to get me to recognize that I have been pretending, playing a role, that is no longer useful. Time to put on a new one, one that is more genuine.
I also can’t stop thinking about the 2nd OBE. My husband hates his boss. I don’t hate her. I see a lot of myself in her. When he complains about her I often tell him, “We are a lot alike.” He doesn’t see it. There has been a struggle between them going on 4-5 years now. It is exhausting for both of us. Much of how he has been handling that situation is mirrored in how he is handling our marriage. Interesting.
And in reflecting on all the OBEs I can clearly see how I am the one trapping myself within the scene. My thoughts were very prominent while OOB. “I can’t” or “I won’t make it” or “I don’t want to”. Had those thoughts not been there I would have made it over that fence, I have no doubt. “No doubt” lolol
These kinds of messages make me not want to bother going OOB anymore. Sigh.