I couldn’t sleep last night. I was wound up, bursting with energy. I think I finally fell asleep around 2am. I don’t feel tired this morning despite waking at 7am.
Lucid Dream: Panther
I was having a dream where I was talking with someone about happiness. I had a realization which I stated in the dream. It was something like, “No wonder I’m never happy. My expectations ruin it for me.” This statement brought on lucidity and the scene shifted.
I was in a car with two other women. One was a black women with exceptionally long dreadlocks. She was quite pretty and I remember wishing I looked like her. We were talking about various things, but I can’t recall the discussion now other than remembering something about a grocery store and a full versus empty shopping cart.
The black woman was driving the car and going quite fast. She made a turn at a very high speed and the car fish tailed to a stop in the ditch next to the gate leading onto some rural property. It looked like a ranch of some sort out in the middle of nowhere. When I realized the car was swerving and might crash, I escaped out the window and floated next to the car watching it come to a stop.
Then I was standing on the gravel road in between the fence posts that marked the entrance to the ranch. I saw this massive, black panther standing in front of me. It was huge and had massive canines. I was nervous and looked to see if I could find my companions but they had vanished. I was alone, face-to-face with a black panther!
The large cat rushed toward me and I huddled down to protect myself. It pounced and landed on my back and then put its massive mouth over my head as if it were going to eat me. But rather than eat me, it seemed to be playing with me and felt more like a dog than a cat. I could feel the weight of it on my back and feel the heat of its breath and its massive teeth.
I wast thinking, “Is he friendly?” Nothing he did indicated that he was going to hurt me, yet I was still not sure. I stood up and he let me stand. For some reason he was playfully jumping around like a dog waiting for his owner to throw a stick for him to fetch. I got it in my mind to pick up a rock and throw it. When I did, the panther chased after the rock. I remember thinking, “How do I get out of here?” Despite the panther being friendly, all I could think of was how to get away from him.
The large cat came loping back with the rock and dropped it at my feet, asking me to throw it again. I was plotting my escape when I felt the energy of re-entry into my physical body pull me out of the scene.
Upon return to my body I was hit with intense hypnagogic imagery. It was all in black, white and gray and there were symbols strategically placed in a grid pattern that covered my entire visual field. It had depth (3D) and reminded me of coordinates or the plotting of some kind of graph. The symbols were varied and it was most definitely some kind of language. What language, I don’t know. I recall seeing the number 3 but it was not numerical. As I try to remember the symbols, Ancient Cyrillic comes to mind. Just so happens that the 3 is one of the symbols in this language. hahaha
My entire crown was lit up with so much energy it felt as if my head were going to explode. It didn’t hurt but it was uncomfortable and my entire body stiffened making it impossible to relax.
I tried to direct the images I was seeing by willing them to change. I tried to give them color. I tried to shift it into a scene or a picture that I could walk into. Nothing worked. The only change that resulted was that the symbols were replaced by millions of tiny 3D bubbles all in gray and white. They started out tiny and got larger and larger until at the top of my visual field they seemed to pop or burst open. Circles upon circles upon circles.
Dream: Strawberry Field and Message
I saw in front of me a field of beautiful, red, ripe strawberries. They were lined up and perfect in every way. When I saw them, though, I rejected them. There is no way strawberries could be that perfect. I replaced the image with a field of half rotten strawberries. The rows and columns had huge gaps in them where the strawberries had been taken out. To me this felt more comfortable but there was most definitely an upset with this scene. I preferred the first but felt it was impossible. It made more sense that the strawberries be imperfect, rotting or missing.
Someone was with me and they were trying to convince me that the first field of strawberries was a possibility. I don’t recall how he looked, just his energy. He had such hope and his belief was stronger than my own. He took my hand and said to me, “Let’s pave a new path.” I let him take my hand but I did not go with him. What he was promising was a fantasy world. I would be stupid to follow him. Yet not going with him was agonizing.
I woke up feeling really awful and hopeless.