Another quick update on the goings-on in my life.
My husband just left for the next four days. His trip to Florida has been delayed by a month, though, so he will be here in July. I should be happy, but I’m not.
Many small, mostly insignificant life problems popping up. Mostly they have to do with my family and marriage. Finance is a big one but there are also incompatible viewpoints that continue to be made very obvious through life situations/decisions.
The more that happens, the more I am seeing in front of me the inevitable decision that must be made. The fork in the road is obvious. One fork has a sign that says 3D. The other has a sign that says 5D. The contrast is so apparent and the feelings associated with the upcoming decision that it makes me almost sick to think of having to make the decision.
When I shift into the 3D frame of mind I am devastated by what lies in front of me. I feel immediately dead inside. Sometimes I even feel sick to my stomach.”Reality” from this viewpoint is very depressing and my heart is not in it at all. I can see quite a distance in front of me and it is smooth sailing for the most part.
When I shift into the 5D frame of heart (hehe) there is hope; a revival of Self. I feel a warmth in my chest. Yet I cannot see very far in front of me. The path turns and is lost after only a few hundred yards.
For the past 10 months or so we forerunners have been traversing both worlds simultaneously. This has been very difficult because the two realities are so very different in so many ways. But we weren’t ready. Some of us still aren’t. I wonder if I am ready yet because I feel so very afraid of making the choice. Yet the longer I hesitate, the more dissonance there is between the two.
Lately I have been shifting back into denial mode. None of this is real. I am just being strung along by my guides. I will never be happy regardless of what path I choose. And so on and so forth. My guidance goes completely silent when I enter this mode. When I begin to pull myself out of it, they return, arms folded across their chests and say, “Are you done now?” LOL
Their message today was this: “Trust yourSelf. Trust your heart. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are clearing a new path. It won’t be easy.” And at this point I saw very clear in my mind the word, “Forerunner.”
No, it’s not easy. I need a weedwacker or maybe a machete to clear the path ahead.