Yesterday’s energy was flat and ominous at times. I realized that the “ominous” feeling came on when I was too much in my mind and focusing outward. I tend to do this out of habit – probing my environment for clues of where the feeling originates. My guides reminded me to settle in my heart. When I did, the ominous feeling muted and there was calm.
This mini-lesson taught me just how much I tend to focus upon the future. Always looking ahead. There is nothing wrong with anticipating future events if you can avoid dwelling on them. That is my problem. I stay in the future instead of pulling myself back to present. This is especially true now when my guidance is quiet 99% of the time.
Prior to sleep, I requested once again to be allowed to remember what was going on while I slept. This was granted. Just to be on the safe side, I took B6 to make sure I remembered more of my dreams and hoping for an OBE.
Lucide Dream and Sleep Paralysis Episode
At bedtime it began to rain pretty hard. This lasted well into the night. I struggle to fall asleep when there is thunder and lightening, often drifting in the in-between for long periods between booms of thunder. This particular night was no exception but something odd occurred. Maybe it was B6 or the intention to remember, but I kept feeling a strange energy come over my body. With the feeling was an awareness of an on-going conversation with my Companion about the soul exchange. I kept interrupting myself saying to my Companion things like, “I am ready” and “I trust you”. With each statement the energy would envelop me, coming on strongly from the center of my back. At its peak, the energy encapsulated me completely and I felt like I was inside the center of a flower bud; “petals” of energy softly cradling me inside.
Usually my awareness would pull me out of these episodes with a start. There was a smidgen of fear every time. How frustrating that the fear is still there after so, so many similar energetic experiences!
At one point I entered into a semi-lucid dream. I was inside an unfamiliar house with my children. There was a storm and I could hear the rain pelting the roof. I tried to turn on the light, but the electricity must have been out because it would not turn on. In the dark I could see outlines of the kitchen. Everything had a glowing white aura.
There was a feeling of impending doom that made me nervous. As I headed out of the kitchen, I heard a loud, crackling followed by an electric buzzing. The buzzing got louder and I looked up because it seemed to be coming from above my head. That’s when I saw a tiny, neon-blue colored sphere about the size of a fist. It began to circle around my head. At that time, a hissing noise started to accompany the buzzing. It sounded similar to the release of an air brake but the sound would draw out with a long “hissssss”. I connected all of this to an E.T. encounter for some reason and thought for sure They had come to collect me.
The sounds were so audible, the visuals so vivid and my rising fear so palpable that I suddenly realized and thought, “This is NOT real!”
Instantly I was propelled into my sleeping body with quite a bit of force, but the sounds and visuals did not dissipate. Instead, they grew more intense and I had to remind myself that I had just been OOB and all was well and normal. My heart was pounding in my chest so hard, though, and there was a strange energy pushing into my back at heart level, that I struggled to calm down.
In my visual field the hypnagogia turned on and there was a message written over and over on millions of tiny, rectangles. The message was, “I love you”. When I recognized the message the rectangles turned into circles and began to rise in my visual field like bubbles. I remembered not to focus on them and tried to focus on my heart and breathing, but this was nearly impossible because my entire body felt wrong. My back felt like it was arching uncomfortably and the energy pouring into my heart center was chaotic and almost painful. It felt as if I was being torn apart. There was also a strange energy around my head that felt wrong.
And I was afraid. Not terrified. Afraid and getting it under control when there suddenly appeared in front of my vision, face-to-face with me, a woman….errr female. Her gender was very obvious for some reason but she did not look human. Her face would fade in and out but when I saw her she had slanted, black eyes that were parallel to each other and almost touched on the very top of her head.
She looked like an insect. A praying mantis.
I suddenly knew I was on board a craft and she was sitting across from me. My fear was gone. Completely. There was a sense that someone was to my left. My guide. I said to him, “I’m ready if you are.”
That’s when the energy sensations pulled me back to awareness of my body. My back still felt to be arching uncomfortably and I knew I was in sleep paralysis. Heart still pounding I got control of it all and was able to slowly come out of it.