Clean Slate

Yesterday was a tough day. I should have expected it after the intensely emotional dream experience I had. Then this morning more was revealed as to why there has been such a lack of anything spiritual for me for a couple of weeks now. Apparently there has been an upgrade underway for some time and it will continue for some time more. I am not liking this particular upgrade at all, either, for it seems to have almost completely shifted me into the me that is not interested in life or living.

My mind continues to fixate on what I seem to have lost. For example, I went into a depression yesterday because I suddenly felt as if I would never have anymore spiritual experiences or deep heart connections in this life. I desperately missed (still do) the heart fire I had not long ago. It made me feel alive and loved and so many other things that I cannot describe. All connection that was once there seems to have disappeared almost completely and been replaced once again by the endless emptiness that has been with me most of this life. And once again I can’t help but wonder, “What the (expletive) is wrong with me???”

I want to be clear, however, that my guidance is still present. My Companion specifically is communicating with me but the connection that comes with him is nearly imperceptible. The connection is what I miss the most and even though I hear from him reassurance that all is well and going as planned I feel as if nothing is going to ever be right again. My future seems empty, devoid of feeling and pointless.

On top of all this, my sleep is still limited. I keep waking too early and am unable to return to sleep. This morning it was 4:45am! And when I awoke I was furious, demanding to be allowed to go Home (really!? so tired of that!) and it took me quite a while to calm myself down. I did this mainly by tuning into my heart and focusing on my many blessings. It is funny how often I shift into focusing on what I don’t have rather than on what I do have. I began to mentally list what I was grateful for (thanks Rick) and before I knew it I was feeling relaxed and drowsy. Unfortunately, I had to get up at that point to start the day, but at least I was in a far better mood.

Clean Slate

Despite the disconnection I’ve been feeling, there still comes through brief flashes of memory; messages from my counterpart. One particular memory is of being presented with the “new” me in energy form. It is best described as an energetic template because it is seen as an energy body of an electric-blue streaked with purple and indigo. It is spectacularly beautiful and when I see it in my memory I want to exhale and cry tears of relief. The feeling is that this energy template comes with the exchange. At some point I will literally drop my current template and take on this new, clean one. The one I occupy currently feels dirty in comparison to the new one. I understand that the dirty feeling is the debris I am currently clearing. In order to step into the new template I must clear the old one. I don’t really understand why that is. All I know is that I am extremely tired of how long it is taking to clear the old one. The more I try to clear, the more exhausted and apathetic I become. The current issue in front of me feels like an impossible mountain. When I think of trying to climb this mountain, I get extremely tired and disinterested.

So I am back to square one it seems. One step forward, two steps back. I’m trying to remember all the lessons I’ve learned along the way; to not become bogged down by my mind and stay in my heart. It is extremely difficult to do this when it appears I’ve been left on my own. Boredom poses an obstacle, too. I was told last night it was a good lesson for me to learn. Heard  a chuckle along with the message. I don’t see it as a fun lesson, but then my Companion knows that. Patience and persistence are needed. The heart will provide these things if only I can stay there long enough.

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Clean Slate

  1. litebeing says:

    You are the 3rd blog I have read lately ( including mine) that mentions the apparent regression of progress or advancement. I wonder if it is energetic. The astrology of it is a bit paradoxical, unfortunately. At least the way I interpret it.

    Regarding the endless clearing, my boy Matt Kahn keeps stressing that continuous clearing is very old paradigm and results in a bottomless pit. He professes heart-centered living, emphasizing regular self-love and patience. You may enjoy his recent video which applies to living from the high road. I have the link on my latest blog. You many want to give him a second chance to see if you connect.

    hugs,
    Linda

    Liked by 3 people

    • Dayna says:

      Thanks for thinking of me and for the referral to Matt Kahn again. However, I choose to avoid following the advice of a channel and will stick to following the advice of my guidance. I suspect Matt is relaying information for the general public and the general public is not going through what I am going through (soul-exchange). I am preparing to shift into a totally new me and to do this I have to detach from the old me. I can’t switch over if I am still tethered to the old me. So clearing must go on, for me anyway. For others it may be a pointless venture. I can’t imagine that, though.

      Liked by 2 people

      • litebeing says:

        I understand your situation is unique. I do think for those who are not undergoing soul-exchange, excessive clearing is counter-productive. But it took me awhile to arrive at this point, plus I have done self-work for eons. I know myself pretty well at this point. Self-love and heart consciousness makes sense to me.But hey, loving you does not require agreement, just love 🙂

        I wish I could help more, but I am out of my element here.PS, aren’t we all channeling someone or something?

        blessings to you,
        Linda

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dayna says:

        And I grateful for your love and support. ❤

        Yes, we all are channeling something or rather, but I find my own inner knowing is far more helpful than that of another. We are our own best guides.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I so know where you are coming from within this emotional roller coaster.. Thoughts being sent.. While our soul memory is wanting and remembering so much more right now.. I am pleased to see you turning your thoughts around to what you have in your life.. Here’s to more positive steps forward facing 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. artistpath says:

    I am going through something similar! My heart tells me what is needed but I struggle to let go. Many blessings to all of you❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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