The Void

I’ve entered the Void. Honestly, I don’t think I really have ever been here before. Not like this anyway. It is a place that I am being taught to Allow. From within this space all flows freely. It is not pleasant but it is not painful. It is utterly lacking yet exceptionally creative all at the same time.

I spend most of my days lately listening to music, focusing on my children and enjoying nature when I can. Anything else takes too much effort.

Standing Alone at the Edge of the Void
About Spiritual Emptiness or the Void

 

Under your spell again.
I can’t say no to you.
Crave my heart and it’s bleeding in your hand.
I can’t say no to you.

Shouldn’t let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can’t let go of this dream.
I can’t breathe but I feel…

Good enough,
I feel good enough for you.

Drink up sweet decadence.
I can’t say no to you,
And I’ve completely lost myself, and I don’t mind.
I can’t say no to you.

Shouldn’t let you conquer me completely.
Now I can’t let go of this dream.
Can’t believe that I feel…

Good enough,
I feel good enough.
It’s been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

And I’m still waiting for the rain to fall.
Pour real life down on me.
‘Cause I can’t hold on to anything this good enough.
Am I good enough for you to love me too?

So take care what you ask of me,
’cause I can’t say no.

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “The Void

  1. Karin says:

    Very cool! Congratulations again!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dayna says:

      Thanks but this is not an easy place to Be or Allow.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Karin says:

        It takes some time to get used to it.
        I am curious to hear how you experience it.
        I am trying to think back how it was for me. Some of it is described in my dark night of the soul post.
        Some aspects for me were:
        Very low energy, at least initially, for three months. Then the universe gave me a blow on the nose and made me participate in life again.
        Deep calm inside.
        Wondering whether something is wrong with me since this emotionless peace felt so weird, so detached, so boring, inhuman almost.
        A depersonalization/derealization DP/DR-like feeling of everything being unreal. The body seemed like a meatsuit which I had put on in a virtual reality game. I remember being in awe about the fact that I was able to move the arms of this meatsuit by my willpower.LOL. And that the visual impression is not as pixeled as my computer screen.
        More fearlessness when dealing with others. Speaking my opinion freely and not caring about what my boss thinks, for example.
        After acclimating to the void, it became not only deeply calm and peaceful but also quietly joyful.

        I think the pitfalls of the void are either to worry whether something is wrong since the void feels so strange, and secondly to get sucked into the void and into the bliss and not wanting to return to inhabiting the body. Buddhist have term ‘Zen sickness’ or ‘falling into the pit of the void’ for it, in case you want to google more about this stage.

        I am curious to read about your observations. Thanks a lot for sharing!

        Liked by 2 people

      • Dayna says:

        Thank you for sharing your experiences Karin. I didn’t even know what the Void was until it just popped into my mind today as I was wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I heard, “You have entered the Void”. I immediately thought of the Osho Zen Tarot card No-Thingness. I always hated drawing that card! But upon research I was able to get a good idea of what it is. It is a good thing even though it does not seem so right now. It is the death of the Ego self and is part of the path to Wholeness. Kind of blows my mind right now, but then my mind is often blank now and emotion is difficult to contact. It is there but it is tired, like me. No umph left in my emotions.

        I kinda hope I get sucked into the void and don’t come out. That’s where I am right now, though. Maybe that is what I am suppose to do? Who knows.

        Liked by 3 people

      • Karin says:

        That is cool that you get confirmation about your stage by the inner voice. So helpful that you have this access to guidance!
        About not wanting to return, I can relate. I felt that I could have died at this stage had I not had family to take care of. The inner voice gave me the choice, ‘Do you want to live or die? If you want to live, then you got to get up and do this and that.’ And then I got a list with chores, like having to take my sick budgie to the vet and inviting 20 people, including many 4 year olds, over for brunch. And all that in this state with very low energy. This was an ordeal to prepare the brunch party with my energy lying as flat as a flatfish on the ground of the ocean.

        Enjoy the phase of rest.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dayna says:

        I remember reading about that in your blog! It is very hard to motivate ones self to do things when feeling so unmotivated! My children are my motivators. I have to care for them. If I don’t who will? No one has asked me lately if I want to live or die. I’m grateful that question hasn’t been asked.
        I looked up Zen Sickness. Seems like something one would want to avoid. lol

        Liked by 1 person

  2. litebeing says:

    I so appreciate your daily posts and your interaction with Karin here. As I rewrite my awakening story post, I enjoy the sharing and comparing of ideas, states of being, etc. I do not think I have visited this void, but I am no stranger to depression and/or the dark night. I am not a walk-in or walk-out, but could be a reluctant human,lol! I do struggle with a sense of identity as more and more is stripped away.

    I want to be of service is some way. Perhaps my offer of compassion will be of some comfort.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dayna says:

      Thank you. ❤

      You don't have to do anything. I am in an okay place. I've been in much worse places. I am grateful to be surrounded by my children and not be physically alone at this time. I am also grateful for all the support from my on-line family. I can't imagine doing this all alone.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Durinda says:

    I love your description of the void, a place where all flows freely.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. kittyasmith says:

    Having lived with depression most of my life I can understand how you feel. I no longer go through those phases of depression, but my body still goes into the void occasionally. I am high energy and usually have a finger in too many pies. My body shuts down
    when I am approaching overload. I have wished to be allowed to die in the void.

    I am so used to it now, blessed that my husband recognizes it too, that I just accept it as a time to get rest, spend time outside and stay clean. Eat clean, don’t wallow in alcohol. Bathe. Pick up after myself. Don’t know if that works for anyone else, it does for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dayna says:

      This is my “norm”. Most would say it is “depressed”. That is what psychiatrists and psychologists have called it when I’ve gone to them. Also, I was diagnosed ED (emotionally disturbed) when I was 8yrs old. Clinically, I’m a mess waiting to happen. LOL But I know this is purposeful. I chose a difficult path. C’est la Vie!

      My fix for this state is movement – keep busy, but have not been motivated to do even that. I feel forced into this mode of do nothing, think nothing, feel nothing, just be and Allow. Oh and hug and kiss my kids as much as possible. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I know this place and often visit its depths.. surrendering to it’s emptiness brings forth its own magic.. 🙂 hold it to you as sacred time..

    Loved the lyrics and video choice, One I enjoyed very much Dayna. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dayna says:

      Thank you, Sue. Unfortunately, my time in the Void was brief. I am sure, though, that I will be visiting again. It offered me a short reprieve from my own mind, which I very badly needed.

      Glad you enjoyed the video/lyrics. I thought the video fitting especially because of its depiction of the cycle of death and rebirth – the fire devouring everything, the rain cleansing and clearing away, and the sun bringing new growth. So perfect!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s