The energy shifted yesterday afternoon putting me in a not-so-good mood. I went to bed very grumpy and snapping at my kids. I also had problems with focusing on more than one thing. For example, while driving, my son was jabbering away about something – very happy – and I struggled to focus on driving and him at the same time. I felt on the edge of losing it and my eyes would not focus well either. It was really weird!
At bedtime I had a glass of wine to settle my nerves. I knew another energetic surge was coming.
Lucid Dream: Raising the Dead
I was inside a large, open house laying in a bed. To my left was a very ornate coffin with the lid closed. A woman, the caretaker I presume, walked past preparing to shut down for the night. I was uncomfortable with sleeping next to the coffin. I swear I saw it shake and kept wanting to open the lid.
I told the woman, “I can’t sleep next to a coffin. Is there somewhere else I can sleep?” She said, “Certainly. You can sleep over there.” She pointed to an adjacent room. I saw a nicely made bed with yellow covers and feminine design.
I went to the new bedroom but noticed there was no wall between the rooms which meant I was still sleeping next to the coffin! I saw the foot of the coffin was very close to the bed and again I thought I saw it shift like someone was alive inside! This totally creeped me out.
I went to the restroom to get ready for bed. As I was sitting on the toilet a very large black man opened the door. I tried to hide myself (I was totally naked) but couldn’t completely. The man reacted with surprise and then did not leave but just stared at me. I got a weird feeling when this happened.
He approached me and I froze. I was overcome with mixed emotions. On one hand I was completely drawn to him, on the other I was terrified. He was the complete opposite of the type of man I would be interested in yet a part of me was drawn to him for that exact reason. He was very large – at least 6’5″, and bulging with muscles. He was also either naked or close to it. I just remember seeing his upper half and face. Just being next to him made me feel very, very small.
The closer he got to me the more emotion I felt. It was that split feeling all over again! I felt the repulsion/attraction and began to think, “I can’t do this. I’m married!” Eventually I started saying this out loud, as if saying it would somehow fix everything.
This is when I became lucid. At this point he was face to face with me and I was squirming while also not able to move. I felt paralyzed! All of my lower chakras were blazing and I was overcome with the most intense desire I have ever felt and it was not letting up – it was escalating! The energy was moving up, up, up and my heart was catching fire. I had no idea what to do. I was completely caught up in the desirous feeling while also screaming out, “I can’t! I’m married!!” over and over. I laugh thinking about it now but at the time I was totally freaking out.
I remembered being instructed to focus on my heart when I was feeling fear so I tried that. Problem was that my heart was caught up in this desirous fire that was enveloping me. I don’t recall thinking about that, though. My only thoughts were that I was being unfaithful. At the same time I was trying to convince myself that it was okay and my husband would never know (LOL!).
So what did I do? I threw out both of my hands and began to focus on the palms of my hands. I could barely do this, though, because the man had completely embraced me and we were wrapped around each other – braided into one another! We were completely blending, braiding, into one another.White and black. Black and white. Like Yin and Yang.
The last thing I remember is seeing that both of my palms had vortexes of energy spiraling in them. They looked like they contained tiny, rotating galaxies! I could see the sparkling stars swirling in them!
The spirals in my palms woke me up. When I awoke the energy was still coursing through my lower three chakras and my heart was settling down. I literally woke up squirming. The energy was so intense that my body was involuntarily jerking and swaying back and forth. I yelled out, “I want to go back!” This surprised me. WTF? Here I had been both terrified and electrified and wanted more? Hahaha
The energy began to settle after a bit. My heart continued to pull with energy, though.
I wondered why I keep resisting. What was I afraid of? This is not the first time I have reacted in such a way to the advances of a “man” in my dreams. Something about the energy rising terrifies me. With my wondering came memories. Past life memories.
The one that was most pronounced was from a life when I had been a child slave in the U.S. I was about 12 years old and a group of white men gang raped me. As each would take their turn they would place a wood plank over my throat to keep me from screaming out. My windpipe was crushed. I almost died but I didn’t.
The other memory was of being hung in the Middle Ages. I had been male and caught fornicating.
My throat chakra began to blaze when these memories hit me. I heard from one of my guides, “These memories/lives will clear.” Okay.
I looked at the clock and it was 3:30am. I spent the next hour or so thinking about the experience and the symbolism. The coffin was especially interesting to me. I was scared of it. I think it was me inside the coffin. Part of me feels “dead” and I believe the entire experience was meant to get me to realize that I am literally being born again.
I also wonder – what will happen if I don’t resist the raising of this energy? It was so unbearably intense. So intense that I felt I would die from it but at the same time I felt that I would experience something akin to breaking into a million pieces of me or expanding into a million pieces of me. This would bring an ecstasy beyond words. Wow.
God help me.