I meant to post this yesterday but after the video wild goose chase I waited until this morning. Plus, I had an interesting evening. I’ll share that later.
Anyway, I did a video post on a portion of what happened yesterday, but that is only a small portion of the story.
A memory of a poem I wrote, probably in 1993-94, came to mind quite suddenly yesterday morning. It was fitting, considering I awoke feeling that I couldn’t do much more waiting around. Here is the poem:
I cannot stand this idleness
My mind lies dormant; unfocused, dead
My fears rise higher, capsize and break
like waves of water, receding hate.
In the video I posted, I only mentioned the one poem, but I found several others. I don’t write poetry anymore, but I use to all the time. I also use to draw all the time, too, and I must admit I am not too bad an artist. I’m not sure why I stopped. I had poetry and artwork in the last few pages of my memory book. Seeing/reading them really transported me back in time yet I felt that that girl no longer existed. It is almost like my life back then was a past life not connected at all to the current one I am living.
Here are some other poems:
From within my soul
stealing and spoiling
my good intentions
leaving no feeling
no sorrow, no joy
taking and making
me, its new toy.
This one had a drawing with it:
Dealing with Dragons
Hot breath of the dead
rides with the wind
to find a fair maiden
whose self cannot fend.
Foulest of creatures
meets bringer of life
no battle or struggle
just internal strife.
Eyes of red fire
look into blue skies
good repels evil
truth reveals lies.
Some other cool info from that year:
A gallon of gas $1.27
A haircut was $6
Concert tickets $20
Canned soda $.50
Candy bar $.50
Levi’s jeans $25
Other favorites I listed:
Car: Ford Mustang (lol)
Music: Pearl Jam, Metallica, Guns and Roses, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Alice n’ Chains. Aerosmith, Smashing Pumpkins
TV: Married with Children
Movies: Wayne’s Word, The Adam’s Family Values, Geronimo
Clothing: All black, grunge (hahaha)
Guys: They had to have long hair (what??)
Miscellaneous: peacocks, animals of all kinds, books, dreaming, roses (?), cooking, cookies (lol), eating (LOL), fishing, swimming, hanging out with friends, bowling, going to the movies
Authors I liked: David Eddings, Anne McCaffrey, Tolkien, Piers Anthony. I was really into Fantasy novels and read all.the.time.
I was really active in school, or at least as much as I could be considering my school was so small. I was in One Act Play (yeah no joke) and played tennis. I was also in the Color Guard (captain) and band (saxophone) and a total straight A student. I dropped all of it after graduation, even the straight A student part. I sometimes still play tennis but I am no good at it. lol
Really, though, the song was what I was meant to find when I went to my memory book. What is really synchronistic about the song is that prior to listening to it I had read several posts on the topic of happiness. Then the main words that are heard over and over are “Let’s get happy”. Hmmm Yeah, let’s. The song was a “cure” to my moodiness yesterday.