Yesterday was a wild day in many ways. I went to sleep very distraught for personal reasons I will not go into detail about on here. Let’s just say sometimes life really sticks it to you and I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I planned it.
I was walking along a mountain road with a male friend whom I knew and trusted. I cannot remember his face now, just features and a warm, reassuring energy.
It became very obvious to me that I was completely naked as I walked this road. It didn’t bother me at all. In fact, it seemed that was how I was suppose to be – baring my all to the world.
As we walked we came to a landslide that was blocking the path upward. I remember feeling very, very sad as I climbed barefoot over large boulders and rocks with sharp edges. My friend was encouraging and so sympathetic that I am surprised I didn’t start to cry. I recall others also climbing over the debris. I suppose they also were confronting life in a similar way as myself otherwise why else would they be there?
Dream: Barbie House
After climbing over the rocks the path spread out into a field and I met up with a small group of people to debrief. It was dark outside and I could see the night sky. When we were done I went in search of a shower and I saw it was quite a distance away. I sprinted for it, feeling free in my nakedness and having energy beyond what I typically have in my waking life. I felt young and beautiful, too, and was proud of my appearance.
I took a shower and recall my friend talking to me as I did but of course I don’t remember what he said to me. When I exited the shower I sought out my deodorant and clothes but was instructed to look at where I was staying. So I took a look and saw what resembled a life-size section of a dollhouse. I got a tour of it and was shown a room with a bed, tall wardrobe and a small crib for a baby. I inspected the crib area noting it was made completely of plastic. I then looked at my bed but did not want to get into it.
Looking back on the dream, I recall knowing that my body was almost too perfect – like Barbie, which is why I called the dream Barbie House. When I was getting the tour of the house I remember hearing, “You have everything you ever wanted in life (with this I saw the typical American Dream scenario), aren’t you happy with it?”
When I awoke it was 4:30am and I was extremely sad and upset. I knew that the landslide dream was about the previous day’s events and I how I ended up feeling as if my life were crumbling down around me. My nakedness represented how I completely “exposed” myself. The shower was likely a representation of healing, though I felt anything but healed when I awoke.
The dollhouse dream was perhaps the most eye-opening for me. Not only was I being shown how picture perfect my life is but also how manufactured it is. We are taught that the ultimate goal of life is to get married, have kids, live in a house in the suburbs, and live happily-ever-after. But then what? What comes after “happily-ever-after”? The lack of fulfillment that comes with falling into the prefabricated middle-class, American dream creates a trap that is difficult to escape. How does anyone pretend to be happy with such a life? It is so empty.
I cried for a while, asking for help and healing. I fell into a dreamless sleep and when I awoke I felt calm and reassured. I have no idea what commenced but thankfully I no longer felt so hopeless.