After writing my last post, I kept feeling like I needed to write more, but I didn’t know what or why. I had a strange feeling following me, so I decided to go grocery shopping for Christmas cookie ingredients to get clear my head.
On the way home I had an unexpected vision of the Earth as if viewing it from space. When I saw it, I felt an intense sadness and suffocating grief come over me.
Then I remembered why.
Dream Work: Assisting the Preparation
All at once I remembered what I had been doing in my dreams. Early in the night I awakened from the most intensely emotionally disturbing dream ever. Thankfully the dream is almost completely erased from my mind. Images remain, as does the intense emotion and the memory of where it came from and why.
The images are of people of various ages and genders. I didn’t know any of them but there were hundreds, maybe thousands. I was trying to help them, trying to calm them down. They were all in despair and suffering from various stages of shock. Some were missing body parts. Others were injured in other ways such as abrasions on their face, hands, legs and arms. Some were looking for loved ones.
The scene they were coming out of was full of dust and debris making it hard for me to see. It seemed like a massive explosion or some kind of disaster area. I don’t know what happened whether it was an explosion or something else. All I know is what I saw and the intense emotion I felt for the people I was trying to help. I became so involved in what I was doing that I began to confuse them for people I know in my life. This is why I believe I became so distraught. I had been reminded to “remain objective” the day before. Had I done that I would not have taken on the emotion and pain all around me.
It felt like I had visited Hell in my sleep.
When I awoke I was crying in heaving sobs. My nose was so clogged and my pillow so wet that I must have been crying for a while. I don’t remember much of what happened when I woke except that I was aware that something horrible was going to happen and I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling. I asked to sleep, and so I returned to sleep quite quickly. Apparently I also was relieved of my memory because when I got up this morning I had absolutely no conscious memory of this at all (not the dream, not my tears or wet pillow – nothing). Just an odd feeling that was bothering me.
When all this came back to me on the drive home I was hit with such despair that I almost couldn’t breathe. My Companion took it away, though, just by saying, “It’s okay”. I felt the warm, loving energy come into my heart and spread out and I heaved a sigh of relief. But it was too late to avoid the memory. I had it back.
I instantly knew what I had been doing in my dream. I was assisting people who would be involved in a crisis that would end their lives. I instantly knew they were “preparing” – that they knew this is what they had agreed to. I am not sure why I was assisting but it was overwhelming to my Earth consciousness.
I cried when I saw the Earth in my vision because I feel loss for it. The feeling is what I would image I would feel if my own child were taken from me and destroyed right in front of my eyes.
I understand why I felt so weird this morning, now. I don’t want to scare anyone, but after this memory and experience and the emotion of it, I feel again that sense that time is running out.
There was also a strange feeling that there will come a time when I will “speak for them”. It is like They will make themselves known and people will be afraid and I, and others like me, will speak on their behalf to help calm people and explain why they came.
Honestly, when this kind of information comes to me and in such a way as this I think I must have woken up inside a movie or something. It is so bizarre. What the heck is going on?