I broke down crying again last night. I don’t remember what triggered it but I was overwhelmed by grief over the state of the planet and the people who inhabit it. I could not understand how everything got so off track. I felt so small and unable to affect any of it.
I asked my HS to take the pain away. I didn’t want to feel it. I want to be numb to it. That is the problem though and why I and so many others like me are feeling it now. The apathy has to be eliminated. Only when we allow ourselves to feel completely are we ready to make a change.
I knew that my upset was purposeful. My heart must be open, not only to receive but send love. And love is not just the pleasant feeling one gets from others that tells us we belong and are accepted, it is also everything in between. It is accepting others for what/who they are regardless of the pain they are experiencing or pushing onto others. In order to accept others we must accept all of them – the good, the bad and the ugly.
Fitful Sleep and Messages
I slept light and had numerous dreams. I woke so often I lost count. I recall at one point waking and feeling discombobulated. As I remembered my dreams I felt amnesia closing in like a big, black hole. I had to fight it off to get to the content. Sadly, I could not recall the dreams I fought so hard to remember. I should have gotten up and written them down.
My last waking I sought to remember what has occurred in my sleep. I only remember bits and pieces.
Cardiff. This was a word I awoke with. I was hit with a memory from the night of briefly seeing a bright light in the peripheral of my vision and hearing, “It is coming”. I automatically said something like, “I will be transferred” but this isn’t quite right. I then heard a word which I said over and over and knew was the name of my ship which was still near the Pleiades. When I awoke and searched for the name, I got, “Cardiff”. I thought, “That’s not a ship, that’s a city, isn’t it?” Sure enough, it is in the U.K., the capital of Wales.
I honestly don’t think this is the word I tried to remember in the night. I am not sure why I got it but there it is. Another word/message to add to the long list I may never find reason for.
This is another word I heard upon waking. Why I heard it, I don’t know, but the last time I heard it there came the most intense spiritual experience I have ever had. I felt to be hosting another person inside this body for a period of two weeks. It was not invasive and I did not reject it. Quite the opposite. I welcomed it.
When I heard this I instantly felt something would occur in five days. I tried to reject this but it kept coming back to me. What it means, I don’t know. I will put it up there on the shelf with Cardiff. Who knows what any of it means.
I asked my HS to explain what was going on last night. I got an image in my mind of energy anchors coming down from my energy field and anchoring into the Earth’s energy field. I heard with this vision, “Your energy is being stabilized”. This is why I currently am not being allowed OOB. This is a preparation for something to come. When “it” happens I must be firmly anchored to the Earth grid/energy. I saw the anchors coming off the outer areas of my aura/energy (head, shoulders, arms, hands). There was energy arching like electricity off my aura to the Earth. The energy colors was green and blue and each beam looked like a laser beam but thicker.
It was not what I expected as an answer and I really don’t know what to make of it.