Embrace Possibility

I have never been a morning person but it has been doubly difficult to get out of the bed in the mornings lately. I was able to get almost 11 hours of sleep last night but it only exacerbated the feeling of not wanting to wake up. It’s like the more sleep I get, the more grumpy I get.

Dream: Class of Millennials

I dreamed that I was attending a mathematics class at a university. This was a very large class, one of the conducted in an auditorium. The students were all much younger than me but I didn’t seem to care. I went to class prepared with all my stuff, backpack and all. What was odd is that I went carrying a bouquet of birthday balloons!

The entire dream it was hard for me to see. The images were more dark impressions, as if the entire dream was in dim lighting. I sat at a desk that was pushed up against others and waited for the professor to arrive. I was feeling very positive but another student sitting next to me was not so positive. She began to make comments like a bully would. I responded by saying, “You millennials are all the same. I’m a Gen-X’er. Do you know any of us?”

She interrupted me with some other snarky comment and laughed at my balloons. “Why are you walking around with birthday balloons?” Laughing, she got others in on her bullying game and they stole my balloons and then let go of them so that they flew away.

Not bothered by this, I turned around to focus on class. Then noticed my notebook was missing. They had taken it, too. I saw a notebook under the chair in front of me and grabbed it but saw it was not mine. I look through another one and still it was not mine. I thought about taking it but then thought otherwise. I did not want to take someone’s hard work. That would be wrong.

Then the entire class was getting into these inflatable swimming pools and having a good old time splashing and partying. I felt very out of place and walked to the door looking back and wondering why they were swimming. I remember thinking it was again something to do with their generation and immaturity associated with it.

I recall a brief moment where I was in a different class, one focused on a science or similar subject where there were formulas that needed to be applied. I took notes and read and re-read them. I remember telling the instructor that I wrote down what he said rather than what I read in our text because what he said always made more sense to me. This class was much smaller, with only four or five students and multiple instructors.

Embrace  Possibility

Upon waking I requested a meeting with my Council to discuss my options. I expressed my exhaustion and disinterest in the things I am being asked to focus upon. Basically, I am being told I can do whatever I want. Right now my focus is on experiencing and so I the choices are mine and options are many. Yet I do not want to do anything and so I am facing yet another conundrum. How do you decide what to do when nothing at all is appealing?

I am being asked to embrace possibility now. It feels like one of those assignments I use to hate in school. The teacher says, “Write a paper”. The students ask, “About what?” The teacher says, “Anything you want”.

I always hated those assignments. Too loose for me. I like defined parameters. I like specifics.

In my waking life my husband is coming down hard on me for not wanting to experience new things. He is pushing, pushing, pushing for me to be more social and go out and do things as a couple. He is encouraging the very thing my Team is. He says to me, “Dayna, LIVE life! Stop being a hermit! Try something new, something different, for a change!”

For example, he wants to go to a football game this Thursday (Thanksgiving) with his brother and wife. He presented it as if it were this great, exciting adventure and all I thought of was crowds of people and a game between teams I care nothing about. The thought of sitting outside in bleachers with crowds of people I don’t know makes me tired just thinking about it. I also have never liked football or team sports for that matter.

All of this pushing both here in the physical and by my spiritual Team is making me angry. I just want to be alone right now. I don’t want to be social. I don’t want to go to public events.

 

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14 thoughts on “Embrace Possibility

  1. truthcodex says:

    This sounds like me. I’m introverted by nature. To me a good weekend is staying home and relaxing with a good book or good documentaries. Going out in public to those kinds of events sounds exhausting! Maybe find a happy medium of a not-so-crazy atmosphere but still somewhat pleasant? An evening out to dinner or something.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dayna says:

      Problem is I don’t even want to go out with my husband. 😦 He is too much for me right now. So much energy and too demanding. I don’t know what’s gotten into him but it is overwhelming. He’s a Gemini and a man so that pretty much says it all there. LOL

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Fungi2bwith says:

    I really feel you on this one Dayna. I’ve been in hermit mode for a few years now going through all these initiations and discomfort. The spiritual nudge and push have turned into ass kicking now for me to get out into the world and be creative in living life whatever it may BE. I have a lot to do. It seems the longer I delay, the more difficult it is to motivate. For people not on this ride, it’s impossible for them to understand how utterly difficult it is to do things that seem easy. Everything now is a test of your mettle. Drop into your heart and ask how you can make this situation positive.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Dayna says:

      That is how I feel, too. Like I am getting my butt kicked to do something but since there is nothing specific to do I am at a loss. I saw lots of orange in my vision during my sleep and in-between which likely means the second chakra. Create, create, create. I just want to scream, “What? Create what???”

      Liked by 2 people

      • Fungi2bwith says:

        I’m right there with you. What I’m told is I’m defining ‘create’ wrongly. To get out of the headspace and into the heartspace more permanantly and with higher freq. Once in that state of BEing, every action, thought, feeling, is from THAT space. THAT is creating. There will be no more asking if I’m doing the ‘right’ thing or what to do. That’s the flow, the embodiment of the higher self. The ego gets confused and lost.

        Liked by 3 people

  3. Dayna says:

    While reading your comment I got covered in warm energy. Nothing signals “listen” better than that. haha

    Liked by 3 people

  4. SKYLAR A says:

    First of all, I also had to sleep a lot last night. I went to bed before twelve last night which is unusual for me and I slept for almost twelve hours. I just spoke to my mum and she experienced the same…
    During meditation today my thoughts were occupied with plumbing issues 😉 so afterwards I considered to repeat this meditation again before I go to sleep tonight;-). During the day I felt strange, very much alone when I walked outside to do my shopping… In my mind I asked from my heart whether there are kindred spirits around me with similar feelings, experiences, wishes and dreams… I’m so fed up with also living in hermit mode for a few years now which is also unusual for me compared to the rest of my life on this planet… This hermit phase served its purpose for me, I totally get that and I respect that. It’s enough though and I do feel ready to move on to new experiences, new opportunities and to do all the things and ideas that more or less fell into my head these past two years in hermit mode. I also long for this unity feeling I can feel for instance during meditations and with close family & friends and the urge to share these feelings and intentions with many other people. I long for a way of living on this planet in unity, freedom and with happy, light, energising feelings. Attention for each other instead of indifference. Passion for the new instead of being tired and bored of old stuff. Hope instead of fear. Fear should be reduced to a short inner warning signal as it was meant to be before it was turned into a nasty weapon against humanity. We have so much to live for, to enjoy everyday and we should be able to make the most of it. Every One of Us and Every Day!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. talynia says:

    Dayna, I can say AMEN to everything you said, we could actually be twins! I experience the same things… I am also feeling like doing absolutely nothing, I feel tired and grumpy the longer I sleep and it seems right now I just cannot get out of bed early… if the clock does not ring alarm in the morning I would sleep until 10:30 or 11 AM… My husbands energy is going on my nerves lately and I feel he is also demanding even more. All hid endeavors are coming to an end. He has so many unfinished projects. He always creates, creates but then in the end has no idea how to promote or get it out… No job offers come in and because of a stupid trust in a manager back in 2005 our house has an insane amount of mortgage each month… it’s killing slowly… Because he seems to be unable to bring in more jobs he is demanding of me now to find a job to pay for the rent and take some weight off HIS shoulders… Something he messed up I am now supposed to fix for him… I really am tired each day and drained because I really cannot hear him complain all day long any more… he also is an outgoing person and I just want to be alone… I cannot stand crowds of people either… It’s really insane lately… 😦 I do not want to work just to fix his high mortgage problem so “we” can survive… He is so fixated on money and productivity we do not even have a life together… Honestly I have no idea what the future will bring, but I have a feeling something is pushing the extremes.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. We have one life, one chance. Is being ‘comfortable’ really the most important thing?

    Liked by 1 person

    • What I mean to say is, your party awaits you and it’s probably going to be a *really* good one, but it looks like you’re going to have to get up and go to where the party is! Those snarky kids are in your head and dragging you down, and the only person who can push through them and find the exit is you. What in gods name are you waiting for?

      Sorry, I have no right to pretend to know a darn thing, but that’s what I’m seeing in this post for what it’s worth. Take care!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dayna says:

        Your comment hit hard because it is true and exactly what my guides were trying to get through to me. Thank you for saying it in such a way that I heard it.

        Like

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