Today while driving to visit with my mother something occurred that I did not expect.
It began as a feeling of release. I went from feeling heavy and blah to suddenly feeling as if this weight had been lifted. My heart began to feel full and open and I was feeling positive and exuberant about my future.
I sang loudly to my music, even turning it up a notch. As I sang, a conversation commenced between myself and my Team that became more and more obvious.
The messages came in so subtly that I am surprised I noticed them at all. My focus was entirely on driving, singing and enjoying the beautiful blue skies and Texas Hill Country. The conversation was about my rigidity toward this life I am currently living; a life I agreed to live not only for myself but for my Group-Family-Team.
My attention was brought to my current state – the care-free, full-of-life feeling I had and was enjoying. This is why you came. To LIVE life. To Experience.
A feeling from within welled up and brought tears to my eyes. I Remembered that this was not just my life. This life I am living is a Team effort. I am not going it solo, even though that is how it feels.
This new perspective changed everything for me. The We in me suddenly made sense completely.
I was reminded that although it feels that I have been here so very long and have many more years yet remaining, that the time is only that of a blink of an eye. The longing I feel, the exhaustion, the intense desire to return to Home, pales in comparison to the end of this journey and the richness that comes with it.
And any time I feel homesick, anytime I feel “off”, all I have to do is go within and my Team will be there.
I knew all of this to be true. I felt a part of the We for the first time in this spiritual journey of mine. I connected with them/me/us.
The way this communication felt was so very different and yet so very familiar at the same time. It seemed to come from within me, from my very core – to rise up from my solar plexus and fill my heart with meaning that had no words yet my mind was able to make sense of it. And it felt immense. Definitely not a single entity but a sudden explosion of many. All within me. Inside me. Part of me.
I recognized in this short, 40 minute drive, that the direction of my spiritual journey shifted. I had finally reached point zero. Right at that moment I saw, finally, how this experience was designed to function. This is how we manifest as one in a physical body. The pilot and the co-pilots and crew. Yet only me – the “pilot”, one small fragment of the Whole, is all this body can sustain.
This process of ascension, of Shifting, for me at least, is not about “rising” up into my Higher Self, or even a descending of my HS into me, but functioning as a full unit – complete and functional within this physicality. I have been undoing all the interference this Earthly life put into that system, a system that when functioning properly provides everything an Experiencer such as myself needs to traverse the rough terrain of Earth.