I don’t know about you, but all this hoopla about the 11/11 portal has turned out to be nothing for me. In fact it’s been a big disappointment. I know we are in the midst of it right now but I have felt absolutely nothing energy-wise and even my dreams are nil.
I only have one image from a dream last night, an image of a UFO with the year 2067 attached to it. I remember standing in my mother’s front yard looking up at the sky and seeing what appeared to be a structure composed of silver beams just floating there. What was odd about it was that it had no insides – it was just a bunch of beams and even the beams were ladder-like, kinda like DNA strands. I then saw in golden letters, “2067”. I remember telling someone who was with me the numbers I saw but I don’t know what they mean. When I awoke I assumed the numbers represented the year I would die and this angered me. I hope I don’t live that long! How awful that would be!
When I woke I had all kinds of upset over my “mission” here on Earth. For some reason I woke feeling my mission is simply to live a normal, “quiet” life where I help random people here and there. How I help them is unknown, which I think is the worst part of it for me because I don’t get any validation or appreciation. I am okay with this mission but I am not okay with not having the spiritual experiences and connection, which seem to have dropped off to nothing since I got that stupid cold. I don’t understand why I can’t have these experiences and connection all the time? Why does it wax and wane so frequently?
I got out of bed on a mission. The mission was to make sure that I do not have to return to the workplace. I don’t care what my guides/Team urge me to do, they will not push me back in the direction of working in a system I do not believe in. And there are signs that money will be tight: my husband is a spender and has not been sticking to our budget, business is slow, and my husband keeps dropping hints that I should go back to work.
My husband and I had a talk this morning and I made it clear that I was not going back to work in my normal career. We discussed our budget and how to free up money. We are likely going to get rid of one of our cars and buy a cheaper one and I will be getting rid of my smart phone as soon as I can, which will be in February next year. If we can get rid of or reduce one car payment then my husband should have his “spending” money and so be happy for at least a little while. Right now he doesn’t want to lose his car (the most expensive of our two) so this may take some persuasion on my part.
No Idea What’s Next
Now I just feel deflated. I cannot imagine living until 2067 (that’s just torture!) or even to 2016 for that matter. Life feels tedious and burdensome. If this is what the 11/11 gateway or portal is, then I guess I am getting a good dose of it.
I am in a hurry to just get this life done and move on. In fact, I have felt this way for as long as I can remember! That kinda makes me laugh a little because time is FLYing by it seems. Yet when I am in the moment it seems to drag. Honestly, I hate that time exists. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
What comes next, I have no clue. I am tired of wondering/wandering. If I lost everything right now I wouldn’t care. None of it matters. All that matters is Home and getting back to it.