I finally got good sleep last night but still awoke at 5am, much earlier than I would like.
Dream: Meeting an Old Friend
The dream I awoke from was of me reuniting with an old friend. In the dream I had been in a game show that resembled the Price is Right. In it, I saw Alex Trebek as two people. The first was connected to a very long, fat, golden snake that appeared to be filled with air like one of those lawn displays that fills up giant Santa Claus’ to make them appear larger than life. I don’t recall much about this part of the dream except the snake and knowing that the person who at once appeared like Alex and then a woman was a twin of this snake.
I then moved into a dark room that felt to be inside a house. I know I was in the astral at this time but I did not awaken while there. A man came in who was very tall and had dark hair. I don’t remember his face or features but I knew him and we talked. He had just returned from a journey and we were discussing his taking of a wife. I said to him with surprise, “You were married again?” He said, “Yes” and there was an a communication that passed between us that this marriage had been short lasting only a year, like the many others he had. I also knew he had fallen in love quickly and deeply each time he was married but then when actually married each relationship fell apart. I knew that the reason for this was that his expectations of his spouse were too high and unyielding. She could not be what he wanted and so every time the relationship would break and end in a loss for him.
I hugged him, my head barely resting upon his broad chest. I said to him as I looked up at him, “I forgot how tall you were”. He appeared to be at least 7 feet tall and I felt dwarfed in his presence.
We sat down together on a sofa and I lay my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me. I noticed that I wanted to be close to him, a feeling I do not have in my current lifetime with my current husband. The difference was striking but I accepted it. I felt at ease with him and happy to just be in his arms.
Then I became nervous. My husband came into the room and I did not want him to see me there with my friend. I covered myself in blankets to hide. They were removed and I was laying there alone, my friend nowhere to be seen.
I awoke then, still feeling the confusion of waking without my friend there. I heard then, “What if I made you a man? What would you do?”
This question confused me and the dream came back to me.
Then I heard very distinctly, “Aldyn” and I knew he lived 400,000 years ago. I wondered if man even had civilizations that far back and if he did which ones were around? I then wondered if in fact this man, this Aldyn, was me and felt it may be and that it was him/me that lived so long ago.
Interestingly, the name Aldyn is Old English for “old friend”.
I then thought of the question I was asked. I responded, “I would play with it (meaning the penis)” and laughed. I communicated that it would be the first thing I did because I had always wondered what it would be like. But then I felt I needed to be serious got and said, “I would focus on how the body felt and note the differences”. Then I remembered what being a man was like and knew the thought processes were very different from that of a woman. It felt different and it is hard to describe the difference as it is subtle. It has to do with the connections made in the brain and how the thoughts are processed and what areas they originate from.
Then we had a discussion about why I chose to be female this life and the struggles that come with choosing to be female. I saw the challenge of the imbalance that existed between the masculine and feminine; how women had lost their power. I saw the lessons in motherhood and I cringed. The patience needed, the compassion and understanding, the need to tune into one’s emotions and intuition – all these things I need to enhance within my own whole Self because for far too long it has been the masculine which I doted upon.
This is what I awoke to this morning. So much of me resists the lessons I am here to learn. I see now why my guide calls me ambivalent.