My husband and I had a welcomed night out last night. Unfortunately, he began talking about all the things that we are doing wrong with our family and raising our children. He wanted to sell everything, buy and RV and go out on an adventure to find a new home. I was not into that idea and so resisted.
By the time we were sitting down to eat, the conversation was going nowhere. I listened to him – to us – and didn’t like it. So I changed my reaction to him.
I started talking about what we were doing right. I told him all the stuff he was picking at was overwhelming to me. How can anyone be perfect? No one can. It is unrealistic.
I began talking about our children. How different they are, their lives are, from my own. How we are who we are because someone taught us to be that way. Now we are struggling to break free of all those lessons; lessons that were the lessons of our parents, not ours. Our children, I told him, are so much more better off than we were. They know we are more than this body. They are not being force-fed religion. They are being allowed to question reality and life. They are being validated for their experiences, even if they are not “normal” ones.
I gave him the example of our daughter when she was 2 years old. She saw Spirit on our stairway and pointed him out, asking, “Who is that grumpy old man?” Rather than say, “No one is there. I don’t see anyone”, which is what my mom would have done – or worse off, laughing at her (which my mom actually did) – I asked her to describe him. “What does he look like?”, “Where is he?”
She described my grandfather who had died a year previous. I told her who he was and explained he came for a visit.
Rather than let her think something was wrong with her, I let her know nothing was wrong with her. She was/is special to have gotten a visit from Spirit.
When I reminded my husband of these things he completely changed directions and said, “You’re right. I should be focusing on and building upon what we are doing right, not focusing on all we are failing to do”.
Our night was pleasant from then on out.
Changing the Future
Things won’t change unless we do. After talking with my husband I realized just how much better off my children will be because I am changing, have changed, for the better. I had to wait until my mid-twenties to find out that I am more than this body. I wish I had only known what I know now when I was her age. How much loneliness I could have avoided and how much fun I could have had.
Not long ago my guide reminded me that my purpose was to be a mother and to focus on my children. I can see now why this would be important. They will grow up in a changed world. A world in which they will need to know what I am teaching them now. It will make them stronger, strong enough to handle the immense changes coming.
I am so very proud of my daughter and her curiosity and eagerness to explore herself. I can’t wait to explore with her, to show her more, to show her what I have learned. What fun!