It has been a strange day and still, as it is ending, my dreams haunt me.
In this dream I was in a mountainous area up north somewhere. I am not sure where exactly I was, but the mountains were gray and treeless with snow still showing near the peaks.
In the valley below I stood in shock as I watched meteorites rain down from the sky and hit the mountains. In the sky they trailed smoke and ash and when they hit the mountains the explosion caused fire to shoot out from the impact sites similar to how a volcano looks when it erupts. One after another they fell and caused fire and smoke to rise into the sky.
In the valley below the destruction I finally turned and ran, stopping only because I saw a small group of people. Something about them, perhaps the oddness of them being there, caused me to forget about the destruction and try to learn more about them.
They were speaking Japanese and the conversation was mainly between a young Japanese man and a very tiny, but adult, Japanese woman. The woman appeared to be mildly retarded and even though I could not understand their language I knew what they were talking about. The woman was to marry the man and he was rejecting her because she was neither male nor female but both.
Hearing this I laughed loudly and repeated what I had heard to them. They in turn began to whisper to each other in Japanese. Disinterested, I turned again and saw the destruction continued. I told them, “We need to move on” and we walked away from the scene.
In this dream my husband and I went to visit my mother only to find that her house was occupied by a bunch of people who were associated with my sister. They were having a party and not leaving. My mother told me she was sorry. I was upset because were had planned to stay the night and now had to try and sleep despite the noise.
I spent the majority of the beginning of this dream demanding the party-goers be quiet and leave us alone. I yelled several times, “I just want to sleep!”
Eventually, I decided I would join the party because I obviously wasn’t going to get any sleep. Besides, they were interesting.
I ended up drinking more than I should until the wee hours of the night and became very fond of the people I was with. They were different than those I normally associated with, yet I found myself drawn to them.
As we left for the evening, I had to leave behind my new friends and rejoin my family. I felt torn and there was agony in my decision. I walked toward my “old” family carrying a large trailer behind me. It was as if I were the car and it (a huge trailer) was hitched to me. As I walked along the road, I encountered masses of people walking toward me – the wrong way. They were drunk and dazed and I remember thinking, “They don’t see me”.
The entire walk home one of my new friends accompanied me. He and I had a strong connection, one that made me feel alive again. It was like he was my soul mate (if such a thing exists).
When I got home I remember I forgot my keys but decided to not go back. I had crossed through a “gate” of some sort and to go back through it would mean going through a “check-point” and I didn’t want to risk getting caught. What I was getting caught for, I don’t know.
When I woke up I was very sad and questioning why. I felt completely and utterly dissociated from my life, my family, and my everyone I know. The feeling was so intensely real that I figured it must mean I needed to disconnect from my life and everyone in it. I believed this to the point that I even looked online for an apartment and told my husband I wanted to move out.
As the day wore on I lost the feeling from the dream and calmed down to the point that I rejected the idea of leaving it all behind. I will not be moving out or leaving behind my family and life. It was just dream, even if it was a very real and intense one.
I do long to reconnect with whoever it was I was with in that dream. Sigh.