Sudden Download

Today has been different from the past few weeks. Based upon what happened, I believe that my “break” or acclimation or whatever it is, is coming to an end.

Strange Symptoms

A couple of days ago, not long after I wrote my last symptom update, I had a odd sensation right behind my right ear. It was actually pretty painful and felt like I had been wearing a headband too tight for too long. I reached up to touch it and it was sensitive to the touch, too. I thought it odd and kept touching it, feeling where the sensitivity started and stopped. It was almost identical to where a headband would touch but I had not been wearing headbands for some time.

Only a few minutes later the pain had vanished and has not returned. However, a strong band of energy formed from ear to ear and around the back of my head. It comes and goes in intensity but remains today.

Then, today, as I was walking to meet a student, both of my legs began to feel weird. They felt rubbery and weak, as if I had just run a very long distance. I became worried and suddenly feared I would fall down and not be able to get up. I had a flash of what might happen, acknowledged it and it went away. Then I had a weird thought come into my mind. It was simply, “Walk in”. Not long after, the rubbery feeling vanished.

Sudden Download

For a while now I have been almost without idle thoughts throughout my day. When alone, I often zone out or think of the previous night’s dreams, but not much else. Today started out no different but after the weak, rubbery leg event I began to have that familiar feeling of time slowing down and me being in slow-motion.

For about half of the work day I had this feeling and shrugged it off thinking I must be tired. I have not had the feeling in so long I figured it was a fluke. But when I got on the highway to head home, it came on with much more intensity. I felt the familiar opening up of my crown and a sensation of being expanded beyond my body, wide-open and receiving.

It was then that many of the dreams I have been having began to link together and form a message. Added to this was songs and other thoughts that have randomly come into my mind, such as the song “Lightning Strike“, the words “walk in” and the phrase “Are you going to love me when I’m gone?” that is part of a song. I don’t recall exactly how it all fell together but I suddenly knew what was happening and felt frozen in the midst of receiving this message. I was unable to mentally process the information but a feeling of knowingness was present. A part of me was very nervous and had to be calmed a few times. I think it helped that I was not mentally analyzing what I received as it would likely only cause more nervousness.

I got stuck in a 45 minute snail paced traffic jam during this download. I doubt it was a coincidence!

I have felt urged to write everything down from the minute this download occurred.

sunriseOdd Thoughts

Now, hours later, I am able to process what was received a little better. I keep hearing the term “walk in” and, though I am somewhat familiar with the term, I had to look it up again. At first, I felt a very strong pull in my third chakra along with a nervous apprehension when I heard the term. Now I no longer have that response as I know it simply means that a part of me will step aside and let another part of me in. Thus my recent dream of giving up the reins of my horse to a much better, more experienced me.

It was explained to me, or rather I was reminded, that preparation for this next step was complete (this was the last few weeks of blah, deep sleep and lack of connection I felt). The knowingness that flooded me made me worry about my physical body and I am still not 100% certain of the meaning behind it. I had a memory of reading that sometimes when a walk-in occurs the individual becomes sick or has a sudden trauma that precipitates the final merging. I don’t know if this memory was meant to remind me of my own plans or not but it sure makes sense considering how stubborn I am and the massive fear that comes with the thought of letting go. Oddly, right at the moment I thought of this, the traffic suddenly stopped and I was forced to slam on my breaks and was hit with a huge adrenaline rush. I also began to experience a pain in my stomach akin to menstrual cramps, but I am nowhere near that time of the month.

I continued to think of the memory of what I had read and how the person is completely different afterward. I began to have thoughts of what it might be like. An entire scenario of how the new me would come in quietly and then begin to slowly reject people and situations in my life and how that might be interpreted. I felt like my husband would be discarded because he didn’t “match”. It all was very weird but what is even stranger is that I did not reject this possibility.

The fearful part of me, of course, worried I would be “gone”, but the knowing part of me understood this to be false. The old me would be absorbed and united with the other part.

The whole experience has me a bit overwhelmed with uncertainty, but I keep remembering that I am happy to have this happen. I am ready to “go”. It sounds morbid maybe, but that is the part of me that thinks of this as “death”.

I honestly don’t know how to describe my feelings right now or from the past few weeks. I don’t feel like myself, that is for sure.

Any help from the experienced is appreciated. I feel way out of my element here.


5 thoughts on “Sudden Download

  1. Ashley says:

    You’re not alone. The whole death thing and the wait why do I feel like I am leaving and a new is taken over is the theme for this week i just wrote a post today about mine. When more and more begin to happen like this you’ve mentioned the more ill say you feel less “of the world” or attached to anyone or anything in it. Which is very hard to live because what are we to do? Seems like our higher selves from a far out place are anchoring in each time we have upgrades. Why aren’t our spouses or anyone else around feeling this to? I am uncertain. That’s the hardest part is why are we moving so rapidly? What is the mission or purpose? When we can no longer tolerate those we love because they aren’t vibrating at the same frequency we are? Not quite sure…but I do too feel like it’s about to reveal to us soon. I too think by or before next week. My tummies been in knots for a while now worse was Saturday, knees started today. So we are on a fast track awesome gal….to something I am not sure of. Oh and all my electrical devices aren’t working, charging, kids toys are playing and there off. I told another friend of mine today i know this is painful but don’t let go just yet. I feel the fireworks are upon soon. 🙂 light to you. Take in these moments allow the detachment but still love whole heartedly. It’ll be easier in the end when we truly find out what this was for. Why a limited amount of us are experiencing these synchronicity’s are here in the now.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I too can relate on so many levels…especially the physical symptoms. For me it started on the 26 Dec 2012 (ha!) and I feel like I’ve turned into a complete hypochondriac. I also realise that we are ascending and am trying very hard to trust (my life purpose theme – I’m a 7) my HS and the guidance I am getting and surrender to it. My overwhelming feeling of fear of loss is coming up for release and my anxiety levels are off the wall. So good to hear that I’m not alone. Sending love to you and all who resonate. Must say, this article has also helped me a lot.

    Liked by 3 people

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