Once again I am updating my symptoms, this time because I was prompted by a message from my guide that balance needed to be restored.
- Upper back ache
- Stiff neck
- Visual phenomenon (will explain)
- Ear ringing, tones and other odd sounds
- Buzzing energy around back of head, third eye and heart
- Feeling spiritually disconnected
- Restless sleep with vivid dreams
- Lack of motivation
The most difficult part of my current symptoms is feeling a spiritual disconnection. I understand this is necessary and that much is occurring during my sleep, but it is an unsettling feeling and I find it hard to find my balanced center.
The visual phenomenon has been going on for some time. The only way I can describe it is as seeing things, usually people, superimposed upon this physical reality. For example, I was talking to my daughter yesterday and I swear I saw a baby where her arm should have been, but when I looked down there was nothing there. I recognized this other being as a baby, saw it clear as day nearly naked and full sized, yet it was not there when I focused on what I saw. Other examples are that I will see individuals standing next to or over a part of a person I am talking to as I am doing mundane things. Sometimes these visual phenomenon surprise me. Once I saw a tall man and I instantly thought someone was in my house who should not be there. I am getting more use to it now so I am not quite so shocked. So far, none of them have tried to communicate with me.
The other odd change has been to the tonal ringing in my ears. I am pretty use to hearing the tones now. The sound typically gets louder as I begin to fall asleep at night. However, the other night the tone is my ears got so intensely loud and began to sound ominous, like a deep, rattling machine sound. I began to think, “If it gets any louder I don’t know if I can take it”. When I thought this, the tone began to fade out and sound more “normal”. I have only had that sound once but the ringing sound is changing during the day, too. It no longer sounds like a tone but more like a “shshsh” or hissing sound, like the static of a radio. I have heard the radio static sound before when I had my first awakening. I only heard it when in meditation or in the in-between, not during the day. So it coming during the day is a bit alarming to me. The changes in sound go hand-in-hand with the visual phenomenon which has me wondering if perhaps these beings are trying to communicate with me?
Finally, I am the complete opposite of motivated right now. I just want to lay down and stare at the ceiling or close my eyes. I spent the whole weekend in such a daze. I knew I had to get stuff done though and finally forced myself to go grocery shopping and cook dinner. Even at work I am struggling to do what needs to be done.
I am told that balance is being restored and I suspect that my lack of motivation and disconnection is part of this process. There are way worse symptoms I could have so I am grateful that I am sleeping through the worst of it.