I am halfway there. “There” being completely merged with my Higher Self.
How do I know this? This is what my Council tells me. It is with certainty that I know it to be true. There is so much more certainty now and so many changes materializing within me. I feel like a part of me has been freed from confinement. I feel like jumping with joy and yelling “Hallelujah!”
I wish I could accurately describe in words what is happening, what I am experiencing, but the words escape me. It is a feeling that is indescribable yet it feels so familiar, so true. It feels like I am finally becoming Me!
The calm feeling has not left. I don’t know how long it has been but it has been so normal in my daily like that I am wondering if I will ever be the old me again. I literally can see that me going away. She is vanishing. I am experiencing a vanishing of my old self. Right. Now.
I can tell you what I notice that is so different. The following is a list of the changes that are occurring:
- My mind is quiet.
- My emotions are stable more than varied.
- I no longer have pangs of anxiety in my stomach or that “sinking feeling” I use to get with “bad” news.
- I experience moments in waking life as if I am the observer.
- I am remembering more of myself (hard to explain).
- I am getting more “downloads” day and night and and I am noticing when this occurs.
- I have more space; I feel expansive.
- I spend more time in the present moment and less in the past or future.
I feel deeply connected to everything. This is the expansiveness, the space, I speak of. This connection seems to enhance my connection to my Council and Higher Self. The “downloads” (don’t know what else to call them) happen infrequently but when they do I find I am overcome with a feeling of being “paused”, like time stops in that moment. Then I “open up” and there is an expansion of awareness, an understanding that cannot be put into words, and I feel a recognition and appreciation for the experience. When it is done, it lasts only perhaps a minute or so, I feel changed though I cannot explain how.
I am told that I will soon become aware of being aware. I am also told to not worry, that this part is “easy” and though I once doubted that it would be, I am starting to think this is probably the easiest I have had it since the kundalini energy first started rising last year.
It is funny, but I am excited, though on the outside you would think I was calm or maybe contented, but definitely not excited. That is probably the most amazing part of this part of the experience for me – the level emotions! The roller coaster seems to have disappeared. But this does not mean I don’t feel, I just choose to feel what I want to feel and back off from what I don’t want to feel. Honestly, I don’t know how I am doing it and when I try to think about how it could be that I am suddenly so different, my thoughts never materialize past a mild curiosity. I note it and then, pleased, go back to silence.
I have so much more silence. I never thought my mind could be so quiet.
This is amazing!