Last night before bed my guide was close and reassuring me that all was going as it was suppose to. This was because I have been concerned about some physical issues. Some I have spoken about – dry skin and eczema, achy legs, vision changes (fixed) – some I have not. The main concern I have now is that this spot appeared on my lower leg. I first noticed it about six weeks ago and so kept an eye on it since it looked like a bug bite or sore. This happened right after my eczema on my arm so I thought it was the same thing but I didn’t recall it ever itching. Well the spot is still there and since it is hard to see I have trouble telling what exactly it is. So I am going to my dermatologist to have it checked out because it isn’t going away. Of course I have been thinking the worst – cancer – but my gut feeling is that it is nothing to worry about. Yet it bothers me still. I hate feeling like I am missing something that my body is telling me. Perhaps I am just being paranoid since I got the message “listen to your body”. We will see.
So I asked my guide to help me, to tell me what is going on with me and what, if anything, I should do. He said he would and I asked that it 1. not be in a dream and 2. preferably be a direct communication. Well, I woke up with a song in my head. I think now I should have asked him to not send it in a song!
The song (video above) is Yellow Flicker Beat by Lorde. The specific part I awoke to was the chorus:
I’m done with it (ooh)
This is the start of how it all ends
They used to shout my name, now they whisper it
I’m speeding up and this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart
We’re at the start, the colours disappear
I never watch the stars, there’s so much down here
So I just try to keep up with the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart
The message is quite clear if you look for it. The answer to the first part, “what is going on with me”, is that my energy/vibration is speeding up. So the transformation continues even if I do not notice it or the changes occurring. The answer to the second question, “what do I do?”, comes from the part “I never watch the stars, there’s so much down here”. This tells me that my job is to focus on my life and the physical, not the spiritual. It is also interesting to me that the colors “red, orange, yellow” correspond to the lower three chakras which in turn are considered those chakras which most relate to the physical.
When I listened to the song and read the lyrics I felt the pull in my heart chakra and emotion which tells me that the message was received loud and clear. And it was. I do not like it, though, as I am continuing to struggle with wanting to be in the physical and I am still asking nightly to astral travel without being allowed to.
Thankfully, slowly the physical is bringing to me aspects of the spiritual. What I mean by this is that I have had two reading requests this week after a very long period of nothing. I want to say it has been at least a year of no such requests. I am told more will be coming. Okay. Fine. I can handle that.
I have already begun the first tarot reading. I usually don’t use tarot but it is a good tool and it helps the sitter by giving a visual for them to follow. Interestingly, I have already noticed a significant difference in how the information is coming through. Usually I “hear” things – words along with mental image pictures come through from Spirit. This time, though I am getting the usual images and words, I am also getting feelings. This is unusual when I do reading via email as the sitter is not present. The feelings are subtle but as I was doing the reading I was urged by my guide to focus upon them more and the feelings began to materialize more strongly. I never fell into the feeling, as in I did not allow myself to actually experience the emotion, but it was there and tangible. It was more like I was an observer of the feeling, if that makes sense.
I am also seeing changes at work. I have more requests for counseling and more individuals putting enough trust in me to become emotional and tell me things that are personal. I had one tell me she sees her deceased great grandmother whenever she is feeling sad or upset. I had another cry in front of me who in the past was extremely reserved and emotionally distant.
I have also found that I am doing my job better. I am becoming a better listener and I am not pre-judging people. I am completely without thought when I put on my counselor hat to listen and help. And when it comes time for me to talk, I seem to say all the right things, sometimes things I had no idea I knew. It reminds me quite a bit of when I use to give mediumship readings.
For example, when I was listening to the young girl who told me she saw her deceased great grandmother, I was experiencing physical phenomenon that indicated the presence of Spirit – I was overly hot and felt a mental pressure from my right which I ignored in order to be more present in the conversation. When she revealed she saw her great grandmother sometimes the feelings suddenly made perfect sense. How could I have forgotten them?
I have also “known” things about individuals without intending to. I will just look at them and know, “They are having a bad day today” or “They had a fight with their spouse this morning”. Sometimes I will suddenly be directed to look at their energy. One woman’s energy showed a dark blue color that streaked down her entire spine. My understanding was that she suffered pain, likely back pain, and was on medication. In this particular situation I had noted the woman seemed irritated by my talking to her and had initially thought I had done something wrong or she did not like me. Seems I was directed to her energy so that I could recognize her behavior had nothing at all to do with me. A very valuable lesson.
Unfortunately, I cannot just go up to these people and ask them if what I am seeing or “knowing” is true. This would reveal that I know more than I let on and people really don’t like that. I only say what I see or know if asked. I learned this the hard way long ago. But it seems I am being shown that I can know these things and still help indirectly. I know this but long ago pushed this kind of knowingness away because it was too difficult for me to experience knowing I had to hide it from people. I did not need to be reminded that I was walking around pretending to be normal!
But now I am being directed to reconsider this past decision – to unmake it and follow the subtle pushes to use my abilities to help others again. In fact, I remember last night that my guide said to me, “You are very gifted” and I replied, “I know, but I am not using my gifts”. He nodded and the message was clear that I needed to get them out of storage, dust them off and try them on again, like a long forgotten but much loved dress or coat one put in the attic long ago.