After the message I received yesterday morning about being “reset” and to listen to my body, I spent most of my day wondering what was going on but not really understanding. I was very tired and grumpy all day and had a headache that just would not go away. The tiredness got the better of me and I was able to lay down for a brief rest. I didn’t really sleep but I rested. This is not normal for me as I usually am not near tired enough to even lay down and get anywhere near relaxed for very long – too much to do! The headache was a dull ache at the front of my head that would spike into more pain and then dull out. It did this in cycles throughout the day and at its worst I even took some Ibuprofen but it did nothing. The pain remained.
I was so tired last night that I went to bed at 8:30pm. I had two distinct dreams that I recall.
28,000 Years Ago
I don’t remember the first dream so well now, but I remember enough details to have an idea of what it was about. The main things I recall was being in this small house that had been converted into a meeting area. I was inside with a bunch of other people, all men. I remember the walls were stark and reminded me of an old house from the 1800s – white-washed plank walls, wooden floors, and rectangular in shape. There was an old fireplace also that no longer worked and was only about a foot deep and bricked up.
I was the only woman there and was dressed in 1800s style with a long dress and corset. I was talking to a man but he was doing most of the talking. There was talk of war and I recall seeing a map and discussing the time period. Oddly, we were discussing all of Earth history as I was telling him about Alexander the Great, Egypt and some of the wars that occurred over time. I was looking at a map of the U.S. with him and all of these great nations were written over the top of the map. The US was mostly uninhabited as I recall yet we discussed how people had migrated there way before historians theorized.
It was at the end of the dream that I remember discussing 28,000 years ago and what was happening in the Americas. Most of the conversation is lost to me now, but upon waking I realized we were discussing the role of women in history and how it changed over time. I researched 28,000A.D. and found that this was the time when man began using stone tools and developing culture. Much of what I have found shows that women during this time were held in high esteem and honored, holding status equal to or above that of men.
Training as a Lesbian
The next dream I had is very memorable.
In this dream I was with mostly women and I recall being with a friend of mine I use to know many years ago. She was very sexually promiscuous at the time and very fiery and spirited. In the dream she had come onto me and I had at first struggled with her interest in me and then figured I would just see what happened. We hugged and that was it because she stopped and said, “Not yet”. I then was led by her to a bus to go on a journey to a friend of hers who had taught her how to be a lesbian. I remember being conflicted during this time because I am not interested in women at all and the thought of performing oral sex on a woman is gross to me. I remember thinking about it for quite some time along with the worry that my husband would be upset. I later decided he would not care because it would be with a woman and not a man.
On the bus my friend was driving and we went through a gate and traveled a long, dirt road that was very winding and hilly. It went through mountains and valleys dotted with old farm houses and villages. The first house we went by was occupied by a small family and the hut they lived in had a large lake behind it. I wanted to stop but felt I needed to go on.
We then stopped in a small town. It appeared miniature upon closer inspection and in retrospect I realize I was flying during this part of the dream and peaking into all the windows. The village was made up of tents and a one-room schoolhouse. When I looked inside the school it was empty except for a stamp or something similar in the color purple. All of the tents and other houses also had this inside them. I remember talking to one of the woman from the bus during this time but do not remember our conversation.
I got back into the bus and my friend set it on cruise control. However, as it approached a large hill it began to speed up. My friend asked me to help her by pressing the brake, so I did, but I felt nervous. She steered it around a sharp curve and all was okay.
I then found myself at our destination. I never saw the outside but inside it appeared to be an old castle with dark gray stone walls. We were given books and the friend of my friend was preparing to teach me the art of being a lesbian. After a while I found another book laid upon my bed. It was an old book with a red leather cover and I remember being told I was to read it as well. At one point I was reviewing the table of contents and saw how many chapters were there. I did not recognize the words of the chapters and so skipped down to the end to writing I did recognized. The last chapter was entitled, “Knowing”. I asked the teacher, “Why do we need to go through all these chapters before we get to “Knowing”?” Then I asked, “Why can’t I just learn by doing?”
I remember looking over at my friend and she was tending to her nose – she had a nosebleed. She went over to a pool of water and began scooping buckets of water out. I saw that the stone pool had birds perched on the edge which flew away when she drew the water. They looked like small cactus plants – little round, green cactus birds with thorns all over them!
I looked into the pool and saw it was almost dry and the water was dark like the castle walls. In fact, everything was dark and dank. Yuck.
When I awoke I felt my root and third-eye chakras buzzing and it felt as if the energy was pulling – the root chakra energy was flowing down and the crown chakra energy was pulling up. My lower back was aching and my headache was back.
My guide, who revealed himself to me as my Healer whose name is “George”, then showed me what appeared to be a long, white and fuzzy tube stretching along my spine through each of my chakras. It’s diamater was approximately 8 inches. I then heard, “root canal” and remembered the visual I had gotten the day before of the teeth. “So my chakras are getting a root canal?”, I asked. I got a nod and feeling of, “Yes” as the answer.
He told me that for the next couple of days this would be occurring and that I would likely feel discomfort, maybe even sick. He showed me that my third-eye was open during this time – very open – which explains the headaches I have been having.
I then wondered why this was happening. It was then that the dreams I had began to make sense to me.
To dream that you are a lesbian, or in this case training to be one, symbolizes a union with aspects of yourself, self-love, self-acceptance and passion. Ultimately being lesbian represents being comfortable with ones sexuality. So it appears I am being led, or taught, how to reunite with the feminine aspects of myself.
I began to understand why I needed a chakra ” root canal”. The purpose of a root canal is to clear out infection and then bring the tooth back to normal functioning. The same would hold true with chakras. Each chakra and the pathways between them is being cleaned out and then will be brought back to full function. I was shown that I have much past “decay” from past lives where I was victimize or brutalized as a woman. As a result, I associate such treatment and the resulting feelings with everything that has to do with being a woman and femininity.
I thought about this for a time and recognized those things I associated with being a woman: passiveness, degradation, fear, timidity, weakness, powerlessness, pain. My guide reminded me that there are good aspects related to the feminine: compassion, sensitivity, nurturing, sympathy, love, support, patience. All of these things I also deny in/to myself when I deny the feminine aspect of myself.
I admit, I am not very excited about this chakra ” root canal”. I was told there is nothing I can do to stop it. It has already begun. I asked what would happen after and I was shown that I would undergo more kundalini energy fluctuations. The image I got was that new energy, or white light, would pour through the newly cleaned channels and fill each chakra. I was told this would not be pleasant and I got a sense that I may be experiencing my own spiritual trauma as a result. Not exactly something to look forward to.