Yesterday all was quiet energy-wise. I awoke feeling refreshed albeit a little concerned about how completely normal my energy seemed compared to the last five days. When I inquired as to why the energy change my guide responded, “It is done”. I assumed that my kundalini rising was on hold for the time being and the thought even occurred to me that maybe I had been wrong and none of what I had experienced was kundalini to begin with.
As I settled in for bed last night I searched online for a book to read since I had finished my most recent book, Snooze: A Story of Awakening. (I highly recommend this book, BTW. It was an excellent read for those of you who like metaphysical fiction). I opted for a book by Becca Chopra called Chakra Secrets and settled down to read. I unexpectedly found myself thoroughly immersed in the book before I knew it and could not put it down.
There was a part of the book that made me cry. It was about 75% of the way through and it hit me suddenly and unexpectedly. I won’t go into detail about the specifics except to say that it was a note of advice in the book about not allowing fear and other negative emotions to hold you back from living. As soon as I had allowed the emotion to flow out and recovered somewhat from the shock of such an outpouring of emotion I heard my guide say, “We will continue”. It was then that I understood his earlier statement to me of “It is done” to mean that whatever work had been done was done to facilitate that exact moment which was necessary in order for me to move forward. I then heard, “The only way out is through” and knew I had been correct in my conclusion.
I fell asleep quite quickly after that and slept deeply and without much in the way of dreams. Sometime in the night I recall hearing thunder booming. It was so loud and powerful that it shook my bed and caused my energy to vibrate and move upward from my root to my crown. When this happened I saw in my mind’s eye my chakras light up one by one in brilliant color. With each thunderous bang, a chakra would light up and vibrate and I would see the chakra come into vivid color in the visual of my energy body that floated above my physical body in bed. It was quite confusing to me that I was watching my energy body above me rather than being in my energy body watching my sleeping form. It felt somehow off and I tried to consider what exactly was going on but could not, my mind was too foggy with sleep.
The energy and light show of my chakras went on for what seemed like forever and I recall wondering if the storm was really happening or if it was part of a vivid lucid dream. When I awoke I immediately remembered the experience and got up to check and see if there was evidence of a storm. When I looked out the window I was surprised to find that a storm must have occurred because the streets were soaked and all the leaves that had been in the driveway had been washed away. It is unusual for a thunderstorm to come at this time of year, so I had assumed it had all been a part of my dream/experience.
I tried to return to sleep but could not. I badly wanted to go OOB but could not. I felt last week that I would not be going OOB while this process of kundalini was going on. I am not sure why but I secretly hoped I had been wrong in my interpretation of this information. So far it has proved true and I have been disappointed.
While I lay in bed hoping to fall asleep, I recalled a dream I had in the early morning hours right before I initially awoke. In the dream I was both the observer and the participant. As the participant, I took the form of a young boy who had superb mediumship abilities. He was able to allow Spirit to enter his body and come through him. He would feel their personality, their physical features from life and know all their memories. He then would pass on their messages while expressing their unique personality and body language through his own body. I recall being surprised in the dream of his abilities and speaking to someone about it.
When I remembered this dream I remembered my experience of my friend channeling my guide and also all the accounts I had heard about how others were able to channel Spirit. I had always aspired to this but had never been able to do it, the fear of the unknown always keeping me from letting go enough to allow Spirit to come through. I also recalled the knowingness I had after my 12/12 experience where I saw myself as a conduit for energy.
Then there were the memories of the previous night’s dreams. In the dreams I was being encouraged to revisit the spiritual path I had once abandoned. I abandoned it for many reasons but primarily because it had led me to what seemed to be a dead end and my life was feeling out of control and unbalanced. The dreams had bothered me all day, leading me to question why I was being asked to return to that path when I no longer enjoyed using my spiritual gifts. I was then answered with the thought that I needed to find enjoyment in life again (2nd chakra) and I had enjoyed using my abilities once. I had found them exciting and exhilarating and still, to this day, I have not found any experience that has given me the satisfaction that comes with a successful mediumship session. And I wondered, why was I now dreaming of channeling?
At this time I heard my guide say, “You can do that”.
I, of course, cannot imagine that it is possible. Not only had I never been able to channel in that way, I have not given a mediumship reading in so long that I cannot remember the last time. There is no evidence that I can still do anything with my gifts but my guide reminds me that they are still there and accessible anytime. But I feel so dead to them and to the idea of using them.
Overall, I am being pushed to change direction in my life, to go back to the spiritual path. I do not know what all this entails but I am being told it will begin in January next year. Does this mean Spirit will again start to bug me like they use to? Does it mean that I will connect with people without wanting to? Or does it simply mean that opportunities will begin to be presented to me to help me make the transition? I know I must trust that what needs to happen will happen. Like my guide told me in my dreams the night before last, “I will handle it”. Just because we cannot see how something can be possible, does not mean it isn’t. Anything is possible. We must remember we have limited sight, limited knowingnesd and trust our Higher Selves when we cannot see the path ahead.