Since my last OBE I have returned to nights of heavy slumber filled with multitudinous amounts of odd and intricate dreams. I awaken only once and that is in the morning around 6a.m. which is odd for me since I typically wake multiple times throughout the night both because of a new baby and being a light sleeper. I have been nudged by both an inner urge and a gentle inner voice to do Yoga before bed. I have been following this suggestion, doing a succession of poses repeated five times with OM’ing and deep breathing. When I OM I can feel it resonate all the way to my toes and it feels very calming. After yoga, I usually fall asleep quickly.
The first night of deep slumber I had a dream where I grew wings. The dream was long and drawn out, but I will skip most of the details so as to not bore you. I was with a man who I all of a sudden noticed had large, fairy-like wings coming out of his back. They were vivid, deep green and beautiful. He suggested I had wings, too, and as soon as he did I felt them growing and saw the most beautiful aqua, blue and shimmery silver wings emerge from my back and tower over my head. I was astonished and looked at the man with the green wings who nodded at me with a satisfied smile.
As we walked together through the green grass and talked I immediately noticed a fluffy tail poking out of the grass. I looked closer and saw that it was a squirrel. I immediately knew it was dead and had been killed by the dog, though I saw no dog at the time. I yelled out, “It’s dead!” and then soon forgot about its existence.
In researching the symbolism, I found that having wings symbolizes readiness to throw off limitation and soar to success. A dead squirrel symbolizes letting go of old habits and a willingness to focus on positive relationships and endeavors.
Last night I again slept so deeply that I did not wake all night. I had very detailed dreams in which I was near lucid.
The first I recall was set in a very magnificent building that appeared to be a university of some sort. I was in the hallway of a grand building with very high ceilings and grand pillars. It reminded me of an ancient place and did not appear to be a college or university that I have ever attended. It had multiple stories and the stone it was made of was polished to a sheen. I think it was marble or something similar as it was white with cream swirls and had a glassy polished appearance. There were plants in planter boxes along open common areas where students of various ages gathered and studied or socialized. There was one large, circular common area that was in the center of the building. It led to different hallways and high up above were glass atrium windows that covered the entire domed ceiling.
In the beginning of this dream I was late for class and could not remember my schedule. At first I was just going to skip but then felt I should at least try to attend part of the class. I entered a room that I thought was my class and there were not enough desks. I inquired if there was one for me that could be found. A student got up and retrieved two desks and put them in front of me. I moved one in front of his seat and sat down but it did not have a desk in front. I thought about how I could not use it to write upon and requested the other desk. I sat at it and noticed everyone was looking at me. I recall thinking the class was an Algebra II class and there was a test that day.
I left the class and still could not remember my schedule. A man was with me who was trying to show me how to access my schedule. He pulled out this white cylinder and pushed a button on top. It lit up a blue color and a tiny tube popped out and then opened up fan-line. It had blue print on it that had his schedule and information written upon it. I want to say it was a holographic image. I thought I would do the same thing but my cylinder was different. It had multiple cylinders attached to it and when I pushed the button a clear solution came out and went into the smaller cylinders. I recognized it as saline solution and saw that it filled a contact lens case. I knew this was no good and would not help me with my schedule.
I thought I remembered my 3rd period class was Economics. I went through the large atrium towards the elevator. I saw a map on the wall with the different room numbers and names. I located my teacher’s name and saw it was on the 4th floor. I thought that odd and remarked that I thought he was at a higher floor. We got onto the elevator and went to the 4th floor. I located the classroom and went inside.
I knew the class lasted 2 hours and I began to feel antsy. I began talking to a classmate and told him, “I don’t think I need this class. I already took Economics and got an A”. He said, “Really?” Then I remembered I already had a Master’s degree and told him so. He said, “What do you do with that degree?” I said, “I am a counselor”. He asked me, “Oh. How do you like it?” I do not remember my response to that question, though. I remember imagining taking more classes. I said to him, “I don’t need to take any more classes but I know if I do that I will do well. I always do well. I am good at learning”. At this point I remember being very proud that I was good at learning and feeling very confident in this knowledge about myself.
Coming Into Myself
I left the huge university and headed towards an apartment. I would be staying there with some female roommates while I went to school. While I was there I felt very odd and for part of the dream I was in the kitchen with a female friend who was visiting. I was getting very upset because I kept finding things put in the wrong location. For example, I found towels inside the cabinet for pots and pans. I began to complain loudly about it and the friend, who was making a chocolate cake, began to take notice. She stopped me and began to question me about why I was complaining so much. I explained that my husband never put things where they were suppose to go and that it made me super mad. She then suggested that I talk to him and explain the pros to having things go in a specific place rather than yelling at him for putting them in the wrong place. Her suggestion made sense and I calmed down.
I was then in a bedroom and waiting for my husband’s sister. I laid down in bed and felt overcome with a distinct feeling. I knew in the dream that I was allowing myself to come into myself. This continued throughout the remainder of the dream and felt very specific and is hard to describe. It was as if I were two people and I was welcoming another part of me into me. The part I was most aware of (the me as the dreamer) was draped in black. I recall communicating with a black, furry cat with very large eyes and then coming to a place where there were two baby warthogs. As I continued to feel the odd sensation, the mother warthog came and passed right between my legs. I was alarmed at first and thought they were going to be mean. I even saw the hair rise on their backs. Then I saw the family of hairy beasts get together and even petted them. I remember feeling odd at that time, like I was changing.
At the end of this dream I was firmly merged and recognizing it. I began to see differently and had the ability to do things with just a thought. I practiced it on the door and made the door shut with my mind. I remember thinking it was curious and I was a bit scared of this ability.
Then I was being instructed on redecorating the apartment and working on replacing the blue blinds with black drapes. I saw a large refrigerator being brought in. It was packed with soda, bananas, ice cream, chocolate frosting and other such items. I commented on how they were going to make all of us fat with such temptations and I resolved to not touch any of the food in that fridge.
My friend and I walked outside and headed back to the university. At the corner she was acting odd and I realized she was late for something. She said she was late for a workout with a friend. I remember thinking I had to go, too, and liked to workout but then recognized I didn’t really want to go. I let her leave and continued to walk, feeling still very different and wondering where I was going next now that I was “different”. I still felt very out of it, like I had been asleep for a very long time and had just awakened to myself. I continued to try to get my bearings as I awoke.
The Time is at Hand
When I awoke I had a knowing that I needed to make changes to my life. I was not scared of this just feeling I needed to begin to think about what I wanted and where I wanted to go in life. I recognized the first dream about college was related to a previous dream where I had been told testing occurred after vacation, not before. It occurred to me that I was nearing this vacation’s end and that “testing” would soon begin.
My first thought was to scan the internet for schools that would help me utilize my spiritual gifts. I had no idea where to look or what kind of school to look for, though. I quickly abandoned the idea, remembering my failure at previously trying to utilize my spiritual gifts.
The next Idea was to find a different counseling job. I realized I could do this and could start looking now. It was a real possibility that I could acquire a much better position for more pay. This appealed to me but then I remembered that I wanted to have time with my children. Yet part of me was already thinking about this option and how I could utilize my current job to give me experience in certain areas that would make me more appealing to prospective employers. I recalled my desire to be with my kids, though, and began to withdraw from this idea, knowing it was more of the same path I had already been upon for my entire life.
I then returned to the idea of exploring the option of the spiritual path. I recognized that it was not necessary to have a “plan”. I only needed intention. As I contemplate this now, I am aware that if I choose to focus upon my current, already established career, that I will be successful and do well financially but I will not feel complete or fulfilled. That path is clearly visible in my mind. If I choose to go the other route and follow where my heart leads I will feel more fulfilled, though the path is not clear to me at all. There is an unknown here the worries me even though I am confident that my finances will not be harmed. It is clear to me, however, that this unknown path is the better one.
The only way out is through. Though the familiar path leads you to safety, it also continues a perpetual cycle. The path unknown breaks the cycle and leads to possibility. Which one will you choose?