A while ago now, my guide told me that he and I were in the process of “merging”. I never quite understood everything about merging, but I did recognize that it meant that he would no longer be viewed by me as separate from me. For some reason, the idea of merging was scary to me, especially the thought of losing my companion traveler who has always been by my side in this life.
Recently the subject of merging was brought up in my astral projectors FB group by a friend, Jurgen Ziewe, who is a well-known author of books on astral projection and higher consciousness. He is in the process of writing a book about his personal experience of merging with his Higher Self who he calls his “silent companion”. The discussion question that was asked was about spirit guides. Several individuals wanted more information on spirit guides. I responded by saying, “[My guide] is the quiet inner voice that answers questions I pose to myself both during OBE and out. I found mine through meditation.”
This response was that I was actually describing my Higher Self. To that I replied:
That is what a spirit guide is, at least in my understanding. My primary guide tells me often “I am You” and after this experience I asked what the energy I felt was when I hugged him and he said, “It was You”. I have other guides who he refers to as Assistants. I do not really concern myself with them, though I see them in my dreams as well, especially a female one with an M name. Some say we have a separate guide and I am bit confused as to if this is true since I am regularly told we are all One and separateness is an illusion. I suppose then that the name “guide” is confusing because of this illusion of separateness. From the way my guide feels, he has been with me always and always will be. He is an aspect of myself who Remembers all that Is while I am the aspect that has chosen to Forget. I wish I could remember the story he told me about those who Remember and those who Forget, but it makes so much sense and explains the separateness that we on Earth have chosen for ourselves.
That is when I got the great explanation about merging and what it means from Jurgen:
Yes Dayna, the “guide” feels like a separate presence and it is easy to consider it as such and of course there are no guarantees that they are not separate, which can make it all a bit more complicated. The golden man in your experience could be a manifestation, but If there are guides we perceive as separate and they actually are separate they only serve one purpose, to connect you ultimately to your higher self. I always referred to this awareness of “not being alone”, of this presence in my life, as my “Silent Companion”.
I had a guide before I became aware of this permanent presence in my life. I first came into contact with him, whom I regarded as “my teacher” during an OBE. He was most definitely a separate entity, with his own history, raucous character, attitude, a chap I recognized as a very old friend. He poked fun at me and played games, but always with a lesson attached. He then came to me regularly for several months and put me through a training program, which allowed me later to enter much higher dimensional levels.
That was before my so called “silent companion” showed up, when this happened he no longer featured. Though on occasion other people showed up during OBEs, who took me to places and showed me various things. One of them identified himself as Phil, with a completely different personality to the first guy. He too disappeared, but during the waking hours and the day it was always my silent companion which was the more constant aspect in my life and finally, over a year ago I clearly got to know it. There was no longer any doubt what this aspect was as I merged fully into it, my higher self.
So I still think there are different awarenesses we can be linked to, some are friends, helpers, guides, but I think they respectfully step aside when our awareness of who we are, rises to the fore and we have a direct link to the higher self, the “knower”. You become more confident in that knowledge, but also more humble as your old identifications are gradually pushed to one side. The purpose of the silent companion is union, which is when we merge fully with our higher self.
When this process has finally tipped the balance in favour of our higher self our awareness turns into an awareness of “the stillness of the present moment”, constantly, day and night, unmistakably, unshakable, always, permanently, moment by moment, without break and no knowledge or any clue even of how we could possibly get back to our old separateness. We don’t even remember any more, what it was like as our old self, because it was such a flimsy artifice. Life then changes for good, without return.
I captured it here in the twelve points I noted down, how life is transformed when we merge with our silent companion, which turns into the stillness: The Higher Consciousness.
I am still absorbing and digesting the validation and information I received from this FB conversation. As you all know, I do not often go out in search of books or articles that relate to my experiences. I rarely feel drawn to do this and when I have questioned myself about these tendencies the answers I receive indicate that there is no need for that which is already understood and accepted from the Self. When I have sought after validation through outside sources (outside myself that is) I have found my confidence in myself becomes muddled with questions and self-doubt which only serves to slow down my own spiritual progress. However, such as is this circumstance, lately my answers come to me from without and often do so in larges chunks such as is this case.
It is obvious to me now that merging is part of the process of awakening; IS the awakening. I have noticed that my guide (higher self) is much closer and more ever-present than the previous 7 years. I also recognize that the message I received back in June of this year about my upcoming “death” was in fact not a physical death but a death of the me that I have been throughout this life. I suspected this.
Jurgen describes this “death” of transformation perfectly:
It was as if a cage of frosted glass, which had obscured my vision for so long, had been shattered into billions of tiny pieces and there was simply no longer a way of putting them back together again to form the old frosted cage. Whereas in the past I would take glimpses into higher states of awareness, spontaneously or through meditation, I was inevitably posted back into my old mundane self, striving to find my way back into the clear light of reality which was unimpeded by viewpoints, judgements or personal issues. Now it felt as if the bridges back had been incinerated and for the time being at least I appeared to be permanently located on a new viewing platform with no roadmap back to my old self and any interest whatsoever in returning to my old ways had simply dissipated.
I was given a time period of four years from this past June until the time of “death”. It seems a long time but to be told that it is coming is a gift. My guide spoke to me last night as has been the usual in the evenings since the birth of my son. He reassured me that the coming changes are good and to be patient with myself as I struggle through some of the difficulties of accepting myself back into myself. I asked how to invite him in, and he told me, “It is not something that can be explained in words but something that must be experienced to understand”. Yet I saw in my mind a visual of opening my heart and accepting myself without fear or judgment. With this vision I recognized how much I fear what I will find when I open up to all that I am, have been and will be. To do so without judgment is perhaps the most difficult task of them all because it comes with the human tendency to label ourselves and our choices as “good” or “bad”. For so long it has been whispered to me when I criticize myself for a “wrong” decision, “There are no mistakes, only choices”. How does one step back and view life without labels? How does one ignore the illusions and accept what is before them as it IS with love and acceptance? I shudder to think of the lives I have lived (that I remember) where I have been so horrible that the mere memory of it causes me to withdraw and contract from myself. I can’t do this if I want to reunite with myself. What a huge feat it seems yet my guide reassures me that it is achievable.