Broken Treadmill

I was awakened at 1am by two screaming children. My husband was sick with a cold and could not help. I ended up not being able to return to sleep for some time afterward. I am not sure when I fell asleep but I finally did.

Suicidal Student

I had a dream about a young, African American man. He was 21 but still in high school. He had a bad reputation and everyone, even the teachers, let him get away with pretty much everything because they were afraid of him. He did not do “bad” things really but did play jokes and act foolishly, often teasing others or pushing the limits to see what he could get away with. I was an administrator who witnessed him pushing the limits in a negative way. He was doing things that we very inappropriate for school and I called him on it and then sent him to the principal, which had never happened to him. He was sent back to class without any punishment but I made sure to continue to hold him accountable. The other students at first did not stand up to him, but eventually they did.

Eventually the classroom environment shifted to a parking lot and the student was in a black car. The scene was very dark and it was not easy to see. The student appeared out of character and I knew he needed help. I was searching for him and telling the other students to find him. I remember telling them, “You notice how wide eyed and frantic he was? He overdosed on some drug. He is spinning out of control and going to kill himself”. I recognized that me setting boundaries for him pushed him into a zone he could not handle and that he was trying to escape the confusion it caused him. He had never had boundaries, though he wanted them badly because they showed that others cared about him. I identified a part of myself in him.

I suddenly wanted to save him from himself and got the other student to help me. We cornered him, even though he attempted to drive through us, damaging several cars. In the end, though, I was able to stop him from destroying himself. I felt compassion for him rather than contempt. I wanted to help him move past his fear of himself.

Broken Treadmill

The scene remained dark but the story changed. The student was still involved but instead of being suicidal he was now fessing up to the bad things he had done. He had damaged my treadmill and I was attempting to fix it. My husband was there and tinkered with it, asking me to try it out. I raised the incline and turned it to speed 2. The treadmill lurched and the belt began to move at a very high speed, much faster than the 2mph it was set to. I stepped back and watched as the belt began to bunch up and then buckled. The treadmill made a loud noise and I quickly turned it off. It was broken.

I discussed my options with someone who I did not see in the dream. It was a female and I suspect she is one of my guides. I told her I could 1. Replace the treadmill with a new or used one, 2. Run outside and not buy a new treadmill (this one my husband would prefer) or 3. Attempt to fix my current treadmill. I seemed to like option #3 but I remember putting quite a bit of thought into what I could do.

I got onto the treadmill again hoping that it had miraculously fixed itself. At first it seemed to be working but it began to lurch and make odd noises again, so I got off very quickly and saw that the belt was beginning to move very fast and starting to buckle again. The treadmill was shot and there was nothing I could do. I had to make a decision. What would I do?

As I began to wake up, I heard a woman’s voice call me by my name but something was wrong about it. The last name was “Cook”. It perplexed me. Why was she giving me that last name? Did that indicate that I would one day have a new last name? The thought of that had me worried. Was I going to one day be married again?

Reflection

I awoke and thought about my dreams for some time. The first dream was uplifting even though the characters in it seemed dark and depressing. I believe the young man represented not only my past but also myself in many ways. I recognized myself in him during the dream and attempted to save him. I successfully “saved” him in the end, finding compassion for him (myself) which indicates I have come to a point in my own spiritual progress where I am beginning to be compassionate toward myself. This is HUGE for me because I am very self-critical.

The second dream was the most vivid and reminded me of a recent OBE I had where I was talking to one of my neighbors about her treadmill. She was selling it and I told her I didn’t need it but that mine was old. I looked up the symbolism of treadmill and found that it means one is “stuck in an old routine” and not making progress. It indicates change is needed for progress to be made. This symbolism seems applicable to my dream and the choices I was having to make about whether I would replace the treadmill or not. The fact that the treadmill was breaking/broken indicates I am recognizing the need for change.

I never made a decision in the dream but did seem interested in the option to buy a new one or fix it. I was not as interested in the option of not replacing it and just running outside. This suggests that there is something in my routine I desire to keep.

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