The energy is changing again. It is growing lighter and more positive. It almost feels like the cold air came through and blew away all the “hot air” which was full of anger, distrust, paranoia and all sorts of cluttered, chaotic thoughts. Perhaps this is just me that feels the change, but I suspect it is not. I even read an astrological forecast recently that suggests that coming new moon this Saturday is hastening in this new energy and that by the middle of December many of us will experience major breakthroughs in our ever challenging spiritual advancement.
I have been having quite a few spiritual breakthroughs of late. Most of these are occurring during sleep and so in the morning I feel much more balanced and at ease than the previous night. Last night I slept very deeply and do not even remember my dreams, yet I awoke in a positive mood and my first thoughts of the day focused on how blessed I am instead of how stuck. I could use to this kind of change! Yet I know all of this “comes and goes in waves” and eventually I must delve deeper which inevitably will bring me back to feeling knee deep in muck.
With the positive attitude I have been feeling a deep urge to alter my daily routine. This comes with a strong feeling of boredom and questioning of “what to do” with all this time I seem to have stumbled upon. Honestly, I do not have more time or less time than I did before but my perception of my free time has changed. Last night, after making dinner, cleaning up and preparing for the coming day, I noticed it was only 6pm and I had at least three more hours of evening before bed because two of my three children had fallen asleep. I had nothing on “my list” to do and so paced the kitchen for a while and stared at the clock. I eventually sat down to color one of my children’s coloring pages while my mind thought of absolutely nothing.
Later, after filling only about 20 minutes of my free time with coloring, I began to try to come up with things to do. My routine had not succeeded in filling this time as it has just come to my attention that I have it. I filled this free time in the past with school. Oddly, I longed for something to occupy my mind at that moment yet I knew more school was not the thing I desired this time. I could not, for the life of me, come up with anything suitable to fill my time! I eventually opted to spend the remaining time I had with my daughter since she was the only one of my three children awake. It was nice and I was able to settle but I continued to have this nagging feeling that I could be more productive. But doing what?
My routines have been my sanity for as long as I can remember, but what do I do when my routines no longer do the job? It is very apparent to me that I need something more. But what?
I am told that space has been created within me. This void has come about as a result of the purging I have been doing and will continue to increase as I succeeded in purging the old, useless aspects of my Self that I have been carrying with me. I no longer need the same routines to hide from myself because I am finally confronting that which I was hiding from. In the past I would seek out individuals who I could talk to for hours about spiritual and philosophical things, but even that is not appealing to me. Why? I use to love it!
Hide or Seek?
Routines can be good. They can keep life orderly. They help us get things done that need to be done. They get the bills paid on time. They feed us when we are hungry. They complete projects and goals. But routines can get old and stale. They can trap us in a box of familiarity. Some of us get addicted to our routines. We feel uncomfortable when they are are not followed.
If you are like me and find yourself on auto pilot, following life routines on a daily basis, you may be ready to change. Right now is the time to decide: do you want to hide or seek? Routine can keep us in hiding from ourselves and right now, those of us who are feeling the call of spiritual change will be feeling unfulfilled and empty. These feelings challenge us, but not all of us will accept the challenge. If you listen to your feelings with a desire to change them, you will find yourself questioning your routines. Will you seek out the answers or will you continue to hide in your comfort zone?
I ask you today to consider your own life routines. How do they help you? How do they hinder you? Do you find routine comforting? Or do you find yourself hating your routines because you are so controlled by them?